Beloved brilliant genius intellectual novelist Keith Gessen seems a little stressed out! He freely admits that he's losing, or has lost, his mind. (Just when the world needs it most!) He wants desperately to take back the internet, from the geighs, and he speaks for the elite trees. But he promised, last night, to do some things that will help. He will live an admirable life, and he will "adopt the kittens and date everyone." Ok, Keith! Here is your kitten. She is a stray from beautiful Ocean Hill, Brooklyn, right off the J. She lives on your Day Editor's stoop and loves people. Right now her name is "Sammy Davis Mewnior" but you could name her "George Meorwell" or "Mrs. Keith Gessen" or whatever if you wanted to. More adorable photos after the jump!

So! Keith Gessen! If you would like to start living a more admirable life right now, please email us to set up a date with Sammy. Like we said, Sammy loves people and is very friendly. She is kind of scared of other kitties, especially boys, but that could change with time and love!

(If Keith doesn't want the kitty, anyone else is welcome to pick her up! She needs a loving home, as she is not as street-smart as the other kittens of Bed-Stuy.)

Photos: Allyzay