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It's hard to imagine a tougher real estate client than Alex Rodriguez and Madonna. But some poor broker is now helping the duo hunt for a "love nest" on the Upper East Side, at least according to today's Post. Naturally, not just any apartment will do. The couple is looking to spend between $30 and $60 million on a townhouse between Park and Fifth Avenues (between East 60th Street and the 80s) and, ideally, they'd like a place with a garage so they can drive right in without having to push their way past a gaggle of photographers. Sadly, there aren't very many townhouses with garages on the market at the moment. But if A-Rod and Madge can concede on that one point, we rounded up their five best options, which you can review for yourself below.

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1. 15 East 80th Street
Price: $32.75 million
In addition to a 35-foot "music hall," which certainly strikes us as something Madonna would enjoy, this five-story mansion also features a private gym and a media lounge with walls big enough to "accommodate the largest flat-screen TV and theatre sound system." [Corcoran]

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2. 12 East 81st Street
Price: $32 million
This five-story property features an expansive fitness room, a nice draw for A-Rod. It's also located on one of the Upper East Side's "most serene, tree-lined" blocks, which means it's probably reasonably private, too. [Sotheby's]

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3. 41 East 70th Street (Rothschild Mansion)
Price: $35 million
Not only is the place historic, a fact that will likely appeal to Madonna's European sensibilities, it has exceptional views, too, at least according to the listing. It also has numerous outdoor gardens, which may be a plus (it'll remind Madonna of London) or a negative (it'll remind Madonna of London). [BHS]

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4. 11 East 82nd Street
Price: $35 million
In addition to six floors of living space, this townhouse has a big basement, which Alex and Madonna can use to create a gleaming gym or as a Kabbalah indoctrination center. Or both! [Sotheby's]

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5. 35 East 63rd Street
Price: $37.5 million
What's particularly great about this property is that the building next door is for sale, too (for $47 million), which may come in handy if the 20,000-square-foot mansion ever starts to feel cramped, or if Madonna and A-Rod follow in Brangelina's footsteps and adopt 23 kids from various third world countries. The downside: The townhouse is still under construction, which could be an issue if A-Rod and Madonna are looking to move immediately. [Garfield]