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• First Michael Jackson dies, and now this? It seems it's over for Tinsley Mortimer and her husband, Topper, now that Tinz is in London where she's taken up with a German prince named Casimir Wittgenstein-Sayn. Why the change of heart? For starters, "Cassie" makes more money than Topper and owns a castle in Germany. Even more importantly, marrying him would finally make the Tinz a princess. And opportunities like that don't come along every day, naturally. [P6, DM]
• Bradley Cooper denied rumors the other day that he's been dating Jennifer Aniston. One possible reason for that: It looks like he's involved with Renee Zellweger instead. [P6]
• Kevin Jonas is engaged. He's one of those annoying Jonas Brothers, in case you're not up to speed on your annoying teen pop stars. [People]
• A few years ago, someone walking through the meatpacking district would have complained about the stench of rotting meat. Nowadays? They're whining that Diane von Furstenberg's store is pumping perfume into the air. [P6]

• No one knows the circumstances surrounding Michael Jackson's death yet. But we do now know that Jackson used the names "Omar Arnold" and "Jack London" to get his prescription drugs, so that's good. [TMZ]
• In other Jackson news, Uri Geller, a "close friend" of Jackson's and a man who bends spoons for a living, says he totally knew something like this was going to happen one of these days. Presumably he was too busy bending those spoons, though, to actually do something about it. [Sun]
• If you were hoping the Jackson story would fade away soon, think again. TMZ founder Harvey Levin says the story's about to get even bigger. [NYDN]
• Hilary Duff is joining the cast of Gossip Girl for several episodes. [People]
• Kate Gosselin's clothing line has been put on hold. Try to contain your outrage and despair, please. [Us]
• Spencer and Heidi Pratt have been smoking too much pot while sitting in front of their computer, it seems. They say 9/11 was an "inside job," global warming is "mind boggling," and they're concerned about the rise in computer chips being implanted into human bodies. Or something like that. [Us]
• Khloe Kardashian says it's been hard stepping out of her sister's shadow. But she's giving it her best shot, that's for sure. [Sun]
• Karl Malden, the Oscar-winning actor you probably know better for his American Express commercials, has died at 97. [NYDN]