Your National Enquirer newspaper has published photos purporting to show Cindy McCain, fragile, lonely beer heiress wife to Senator John McCain, kissing some guy who isn't Senator John McCain! "Multiple witnesses" caught Cindy and this mystery man "lip locking on several other occasions." The guy is "a long-haired man who resembles 'a washed-up '80s rock musician,'" apparently. Just read the "stunned reaction of an eyewitness":

"I couldn't believe I was watching Cindy McCain passionately kissing and hugging another man!"

That is the Ben Ratliff pull-quote on the movie poster for the documentary of sad that is the Republican party in 2008. Also this all happened at a Moody Blues show in Tempe, Arizona. A McCain spokesperson declined to comment. But surely there are lots of brittle-looking 50-year-old blondes in the Phoenix metro area—isn't that where they all go to spawn? Still, this is shocking news for those who thought the marriage between cruel, borderline-emotionally abusive absentee husband and serial-cheater John McCain and lonely, DC-hating, solitary, formerly drug-addicted Cindy McCain was a strong, healthy bond.