The last thing we expected on our trip to the Arclight yesterday afternoon to catch a little Frost-on-Nixon action (who knew the most unlikely love story of awards season would be the smoldering, Burns/Smithers combustion going down between Kevin Bacon and Frank Langella? Sheesh—get a room, you two. And don't record it!) was to stumble upon Hermione Granger herself, aka Emma Watson, dressed up like something of a red carpet premierebot in high heels and a posterior-showcasing dress for the debut of The Tale of Despereaux.

After the jump: Watson crouches in the dress!

We captured the bizarre scene for you via iPhone's handy PapApp, in which a guarded Watson—flanked by an army of handlers—obliged a number of aggressive Harry Potter fans corralled behind a rope. She was pretty gracious considering the insanity, as we suppose we too would have been spooked if a grown man with feathered hair and a "Hogwarts U." sweatshirt had been shouting, "Emma! EMMA OVER HERE! Cast me an episkey epidermem spell for my psoriasis! Please! Emma!" at us.

In another photo, Watson—who recently told the Guardian she'd do a nude scene "for Bernardo Bertolucci. It depends. I’m not getting my kit off any time soon, but it is part of my job"—crouches to give a young fan (or some kind of tiny, magical dwarf-creature; it was difficult to see) an autograph. That's the difference between American and British starlets: Nothing of consequence is ever exposed unless an Oscar-winning Italian eroticist (or Balthazar Getty) first demands it.