A day of new beginnings: Gwyneth Paltrow SOMEHOW restored her breasts to teenage perkiness, Paula Abdul is maybe leaving American Idol and Tommy Hilfiger uncanceled his wedding.

  • Gwyneth Paltrow's breasts were the subject of a scientific survey that brought together an anonymous titty expert and a fan who saw the star's forthcoming nude scene at a preview screening. The results, in the peer-reviewed journal Page Six, are: Paltrow totally had her boobs done, and a sample breast looks like "the boob of a 15-year-old girl." [P6]
  • Paula Abdul, who has been complaining about the way American Idol producers handled her suicidal stalker, is purportedly thinking about leaving the show. [Scoop]
  • Tommy Hilfiger is having a wedding involving himself, his blonde bride Dee Ocleppo, her 8.2-carat diamond engagement ring and a justice of the peace. Thank god it was at Hilfiger's "sprawling" Greenwich estate! But it's hard to invite friends when you already canceled your wedding on them once.
  • How to get on at Vanity Fair: Graydon Carter has "hired staffers after eyeing them in bars because 'they walked with purpose.'" Or maybe he was just talking about staff for Waverly Inn. Our purpose is usually bladder relief or the acquisition of more alcohol. Work for you, Graydon? [P6]
  • Eight years after losing his half-sister to a drug overdose, Macaulay Culkin lost another sister to a car accident. Now he's been dubbed "cursed," apparently by a headline writer. [Mail]
  • First Jennifer Aniston can't remember the name of John Mayer's hit song, next they arrive separately to the red carpet at her big movie premiere. It's probably nothing. [Insider]
  • Here's a picture of Britney Spears looking like a reanimated corpse. Those British tabs are wicked with Photoshop. [Sun]
  • Axl Rose is "anthropophobic" (aka a hermit) and hasn't left home in two months. [P6]