It only took W. Axl Rose 20 years to show up for last night's live televised interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live, which seems about right after the decade the Guns N' Roses lizard required to record Chinese Democracy. Axl's extreme tardiness was apparently the only one of his million idiosyncrasies Kimmel was allowed to mention—and it became a recurring punchline—there was no talk of Slash or the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame or Lana Del Rey or where Our Man Rose dwindled away those missing years. Instead, they talked about Axl's political leanings ("Obama"), his stint managing a Tower Records, and how he's medicating a recent cold ("I'm on a bunch of different things—legal, illegal").

An email arrived in the Gawker inbox from a reader named John H. who was deeply concerned — disturbed, even — by what's become of Axl Rose, the puzzling and frustrating lead singer of Guns N' Roses, the band most Americans between 30 and 45 still consider rock's greatest tragedy due to their unwillingness to reunite properly. John, thankfully, appears to have been less than engaged with G N 'R's many trials and transmutations after the Use Your Illusion albums (circa 1991), so he's in the darkest corner of a darkened room when it comes to W. Axl Rose:

In a comprehensive jeremiad email-blasted to various music publications yesterday, Guns N' Roses frontman Axl Rose turned down his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and asked that no one accept the induction on his behalf.

It appears that 50-year-old Guns n' Roses frontman Axl Rose and 25-year-old Lana Del Rey are hanging out together at the same time in the same place. Ipso facto, they are dating. The pair were seen leaving mysterious L.A. laboratory Chateau Marmont before disappearing into the night to discuss all the ways in which drastically different parenting methods have impacted the Baby Boomers versus the Millennials. Or maybe vintage tees.

Kim Kardashian is getting divorced after only 72 days. That's only two and a half months. Apparently celebrities are especially susceptible to being married for very short periods of time. Here are some that were so short they make Kim's look long, and some that lasted a bit longer and make Kim's look short, sort of like when she'd stand next to her future ex, Kris Humphries.

Toronto-based photographer John Hryniuk has spent the past couple of years photographing subjects at celebrity lookalike conventions. Do you think these George Bushes, Barack Obamas, Sarah Palins, Tiger Woods(es), and Hillary Clintons are as good as the real thing?

Irish fans were so irate that Guns N' Roses (or Axl Rose and his current back up band) were late to a gig, they booed and thew bottles until the band left. Finally, the appropriate response to Guns N' Roses!

After thirteen days of incarceration, Lindsay Lohan has been released. Justin Bieber is writing an "illustrated memoir." T.I. tied the knot, and so did James Van Der Beek. Monday gossip is free at last.

A "rock solid source" says B is knocked up. Jesse James' fourth mistress comes forward. Remember when Sandra said, if he cheated, she'd beat him with a baseball bat? Heidi Montag works on a screenplay about 3-D boobs. TGIFriday gossip.

We're just torturing starlets at this point, right? Heidi Montag gets a role in an Adam Sandler film. Corey Haim is tied to a "massive" drug ring. Padma debuts her miracle baby. Saturday gossip tickles and coos.

We received a text from a tipster at 5.08am saying: "Mike's apt is on fire right now! Black eyed peas and axl!" Which, using our young-people translator, we deduce means a breakfast meeting of musical minds occurred at the hotspot.

If a fight broke out, who would survive? Brad colludes with Angelina's kinda incestuous brother. Matthew Fox's stripper may have faulty memory. Madonna's boytoy stands in a corner and cries. Another day, another reality star sex tape. Thursday gossip arrives.

Wedding bells for the stylishly disheveled; Lady Gaga wears a black leotard to mourn McQueen; James Cameron works on Avatar's prequel novel; Prince William sports "suspicious" hair; Gummy Bear gets evicted. Tuesday gossip has two weddings and a funeral.

Like Bombs Over Baghdad, Brangelina Breakup insanity continuous through the morning. Andy Dick's non-story sobriety. Johnny Carson: miserable bastard. Michael C. Hall: cunning cancer strategies. Sundance suckage, Susan Boyle rocks, Axl Rose doesn't. Presenting your epic Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup.

Lil' Wayne's Real Estate Agent deserves sainthood. TV parents are popping out "A Milli" kids a minute. Kourtney Kardashain is America's Best Mom-To-Be. Katy Parry brings one home to Dad. Let the beat build! Here's your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

New York City's unofficial first lady, Diana Taylor, is celebrating her 54th birthday today. Hope Mike got you something nice! Others celebrating: Tom Brokaw is turning 69. Former Daily News gossip columnist Lloyd Grove is 54. Henry Blodget is 43. Chef Marc Murphy is turning 40. Axl Rose is turning 47. Journalist/author Michael Pollan is 54. Natalie Cole is 59. Rich Astley is turning 43. And Zsa Zsa Gabor is 92. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

What do you get when you mix the star power of musical train wreck Axl Rose with the finance-as-a-second-career media appeal of former ballplayer Lenny Dykstra? A Guns N' Roses financial columnist!

Ridiculously braided Guns "N" Roses frontman Axl Rose is destroying our national economy this holiday season through sloth and anger. And, even more, by not selling any freakin records:

It's reconciliation day: Letterman invited Leno, Madonna offered to visit Guy Ritchie and even Marc Jacobs dropped the drama. Tom Cruise is still kind of a bastard, though.

A day of new beginnings: Gwyneth Paltrow SOMEHOW restored her breasts to teenage perkiness, Paula Abdul is maybe leaving American Idol and Tommy Hilfiger uncanceled his wedding.