Today in Twitter: Demi and Ashton love Los Angeles, Los Angeles loves Rachel Sklar, Jess Coen's vagina loves Drew Barrymore, and Brian Stelter loves Trenton (and technology). Happy Friday.

Former Gawkerette and current New York, um, magette? Jessica Coen is heeding her vagina's siren calls to dash herself on the rocks of He's Just Not That Into You.

Actor Ashton Kutcher thinks God is washing Los Angeles because it is raining. Any in-the-know third grader could correctly inform him that rain means that God is, in fact, peeing on Los Angeles.

And peeing all over Ashton's main squeeze Demi Moore, and her daughters.

The New York Times's Brian Stelter is traveling to Trenton. He will be missed.

Former Huffington Poster Rachel Sklar thinks she's made it in Hollywood. She is actually being peed on by God.