Zut alors, Michael Kors! Make sure your pockets are empty, Monica Lewinsky! Transvestite teenagers are jacking up residents of a fancy Greenwich Village building, for wig money. This is an important window into sociocultural relations:

Jubril "Dominic" Faggins, 19, and Jhirad "Shanese" Powell, 18, both of Brooklyn, have been charged with attacking woman in The Archive on Greenwich Street on two occasions.

The apartment building is the onetime home to Monica Lewinsky, designer Michael Kors and actress Jennifer Connelly.

Thank god for the New York Post.

"It was Destiny [another transvestite] that told me to rob the white bitch," Powell told cops, according to court records.

Faggins and Powell then followed the woman, 36, into the lobby and wrestled her purse from her.

"I grabbed the bag off her and punched her while Shanese was holding her down," Faggins told cops.

Then they used the credit cards to buy $3,600 in wigs and jewelry in Brooklyn. No actual celebrities were harmed in this crime spree. Shanese and Dominic, please email us details. [NYP]