One of the more curious features of Bill Clinton’s years-long affair with Monica Lewinsky is the photographic trail the paramours left behind: posing in the Oval Office, hugging on the campaign trail, shooting the shit in the West Wing. In the years since, however, no such photos have emerged of Lewinsky and Hillary Clinton—which is more than a little strange, given the outsized role the former First Lady played in her husband’s administration.

According to a report in the Guardian, Monica Lewinsky came this close to sitting in the same box as Al Gore this weekend at Cannes before organizers wised up and tossed her out—narrowly averting a crisis, maybe, if this had happened in say, 1998. Mon dieu, quelle horreur. Can you even imagine?

The artist who painted the official portrait of Bill Clinton currently hanging in the National Portrait Gallery says he also slipped in a sly reference to Monica Lewinsky and "the Clintons hate [it.]"

I feel sorry for Monica Lewinsky. I am not sure why it is apparently so difficult for people to simply say that, even now.

Here's a fun exercise in "Hey, whatever happened to…?" After seventeen years of nonstop blowjob jokes, Monica is still unemployed and alone, living in her parents' houses and relying on her family's money, according to the National Enquirer. (So take it with a cigar tube of salt.) Since her handbag line never took off, she is reportedly considering a wildly incongruous career in PR. The Daily Mail reports,

Charlie Sheen has a nice meal while the LAPD searches his house for firearms. Ashlee Simpson rebounds with her husband's friend. Monica Lewinsky is "still in love" with Bill. TGIFriday gossip.

Bill Clinton is pretty content nowadays. He's rich, his initiative is soaring, the White House needs him. This is happiness. But never underestimate his love for acting on ancient grudges, as he did with sex pariah John Edwards in 2008.

A new study about sexual habits and a memoir continue the nation's obsession with the former Commanding Member-in-Chief. It caused one of the great national scandals of our day, but it is time to give the old boy a rest.

As the heat from the Tiger Woods sex scandal cools, the once paparazzi plagued Rachel Uchitel will again settle into the cold grip of obscurity. She is one of scandal's secondary players, and we are done with her.

Entertainment royalty convened on The Wendy Williams Show when RuPaul stopped by, out of drag, to talk about first kisses and the meaning of love. Ru revealed the genius behind the "RuBama" photo: gal-pal and federal fellator, Monica Lewinsky.

Since David Letterman went public about having sex with members on his staff, one of his myriad humiliations is having all those millions of "sex with interns" jokes he made about Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky turned back at him.

Sheesh! It's like the 90s all over again. First we have a controversy over the Oklahoma City bombing and now Bill Clinton's talking about a "vast right-wing conspiracy" aimed at Obama. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything at all.

You just have to admire the set on John Ensign. The C Street Republican who had his parents to pay $96,000 in hush money to his mistress is now saying that his affair broke no laws, unlike Bill Clinton's.

Two Seymours are celebrating today: Stephanie Seymour is turning 41; Philip Seymour Hoffman is turning 42. Woody Harrelson is 48. Daniel Radcliffe is 20. Don Imus turns 69. Michelle Williams of Destiny's Child is turning 29. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy turns 73. Local news anchor Kaity Tong is 60. Actress Stephanie March is turning 35. The New Yorker's Hendrik Hertzberg is 66. Estate jeweler Fred Leighton turns 77. LA Times columnist Joel Stein is turning 38. Slash from Guns N' Roses is 44. Marlon Wayans is 37. Interior designer David Kleinberg is 55. Country music star Alison Krauss turns 38. And Ms. Monica Lewinsky celebrates her 36th birthday today.

Your Press Release of the Day adeptly communicates the fact that fine cigars are all about taste. The taste of Monica Lewinsky's pussy, yea!

Zut alors, Michael Kors! Make sure your pockets are empty, Monica Lewinsky! Transvestite teenagers are jacking up residents of a fancy Greenwich Village building, for wig money. This is an important window into sociocultural relations:

Surrounded by friends for her Secretary of State swearing in, Hillary Clinton felt comfortable enough to thank husband Bill for a "lifetime of — all kinds of experiences," i.e. that intern slut.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch UPDATE: Monica Lewinsky Spotted! Our tipster who earlier spied Intern Hall of Famer Monica Lewinsky waiting to vote outside the LA Tennis Club was just corroborated by another operative who preserved the moment in pictures. The tipster writes of delays pushing two hours, but let's face it: Waiting all morning to cast her ballot is the least Lewinsky could do for the American political process. Literally. Click through for a blurry cellphone glimpse of today's local milestone in democracy.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Election Day Interns Hall of Fame Edition! 11/4 — Monica Lewinsky waited in line for 2 hours to vote at the Los Angeles Tennis Club. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

"There's a new Star Wars movie, and no one cares," announced New York Times Opinionator blogger Chris Sullentrop in a Friday afternoon post, about which we would not have cared if it hadn't been closely followed by sixteen ominous words: "(Warning: if you click through the link there will be language that The Times frowns upon.)" (Warning: Spoiler alert: "Fuck.") Okay so: every newspaper has anachronistic decency standards, but the Times is the most stubbornly prudish. One time, for instance, they refused to print the name of the bar The Cock. Another time, Dick Cheney told Patrick Leahy to "Fuck off" on the Senate floor on the same day the Senate passed the "Defense of Decency Act" and everyone printed the word then — except the Times. One special historical figure has been directly quoted uttering those four letters in the Times's database-searchable history and it is:Monica! Duh. Remember the Starr Report? Bet you never thought you'd look back on that era as one in which the mainstream media seemed less disingenuously pious.