It's Friday, everyone's turning the page. Madonna wants a new Malawi baby; Method Man promises to pay his taxes and it's Dylan Ratigan's last day to yell at his CNBC producer on camera.

  • Dylan Ratigan is quitting as CNBC's Fast Money host, supposedly over disagreements with the producer at whom he yelled, during a commercial break, "Don't ask me to talk about every [bleep]ing e-mail that comes up on the screen. I'm not going to host a [bleep]ing TV show that consists of reading [bleep]ing e-mails to [bleep]ing traders... now is an unwelcome time to hear your voice... You lie to me routinely." It's all on tape. Ratigan is widely expected to explore a collaboration with actor Alec Baldwin. [P6]
  • Madonna is determined to adopt a second child from Malawi into her stable, nurturing home. (It's not clear if current "boy toy" Jesus Luz will accompany her to Africa.) [Sun]
  • If you squint at the data just right, Katie Couric's not in last place: Her CBS Evening News beat NBC Nightly News in the New York TV market for the past six months. Page Six, which has enrolled in Fox News' feud with NBC News, is happily trumpeting this tremendous victory. [P6]
  • Prince William's girlfriend's friend runs some kind of regular orgy party, supposedly. This marks the British Royal Family's first-ever encounter with scandal of a sexual nature. [Sun]
  • Method Man has the money to pay his taxes, it's just that, like, the self-described pothead has been avoiding opening his mail for the past seven years. There's totally some checks in there! [Gatecrasher]
  • Rihanna showed up to yet another nightspot with yet another guy, and it was reported in yet another tabloid. We get it: The official line is that she's over Chris Brown. Now just please make that actually be true. [P6]
  • Also: Rihanna got a tattoo of a "tiny gun" above her ribcage. [Scoop]
  • Nadya Suleman took two more of her octuplets home from the hospital, but didn't get much attention for it. What a waste. [Us]