All those curly-cue planet-saving fluorescent light bulbs that Al Gore made everyone buy even though they cost $30 and cast a sickly pale glow DON'T WORK.

Light bulbs have been a pretty solid and cheap technology for more than 100 years, but General Electric decided to screw it up by making a new kind that lights rooms and offers its users a feeling of smugness. But they are very expensive, kind of like when the record companies made you stop buying $5.99 LPs and start buying $25 CDs. But everyone who bought them is an idiot because:

Irritation seems to be rising as more consumers try compact fluorescent bulbs, which now occupy 11 percent of the nation's eligible sockets, with 330 million bulbs sold every year. Consumers are posting vociferous complaints on the Internet after trying the bulbs and finding them lacking.

Ha! Also: Electric cars give you cancer and organic food tastes bad. We know there are some good light-bulb jokes in here somewhere, but we couldn't think of any, so have at it in comments.