Gordon Ramsay is famous for three things: Cooking, cussing, and overseeing a rapidly declining restaurant empire. But fame conquers all! Gordon can be the Donald Trump of food. It's okay.

Trump has a very particular business model: Get a reputation for being a wildly successful business mogul even though you are, in fact, a failure at business; capitalize on the reputation itself—instead of your purported mogul skills—to make a living. Donald probably makes more off books and TV shows and Learning Annex courses than he ever did off his crumbling real estate empire, and that's okay. It works for him.

And it can work for Gordon Ramsay! His own little empire of fancy restaurants has been collapsing ever since this little economic meltdown stopped hedge fundies from using their little expense accounts to buy, you know, food sold by Gordon Ramsay & Co. After a rapid expansion during the boom years, he's now closing restaurants during slow hours, cutting back on staff and expensive menu items and fancy dining room trimmings, and using "more economical ingredients." And look—according to the WSJ, his business model is evolving in quite a familiar direction!

Mr. Ramsay generates about £10 million in annual revenue from television, publishing and endorsement contracts. That includes as much as $250,000 a show for the U.S. versions of "Hell's Kitchen" and "Kitchen Nightmares," which both air on Fox, a unit of News Corp., which owns The Wall Street Journal. Mr. Ramsay has poured about £12 million of his media earnings into his restaurant empire...

[Now], Rather than paying rent, Mr. Ramsay receives fees for licensing the Ramsay name, provides key personnel and advises on menus.

Licensing: that's where the smart money is. And though Gordon Ramsay and Donald Trump are both asshole, Ramsay is a lovable asshole. Big difference.

This new made-up designation supersedes our earlier proclamation that Gordon Ramsay was the "John McCain of Food.".
[Pic: Getty]