Queens gym teacher Brad Ferro is so sorry sorry he punched Jersey Shore's Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi in the face on camera and we should forgive him. Why? Because he was so drunk he doesn't remember doing it! Classy.

Ferro's apologia for the incident (which became a hit viral clip but won't be shown on tonight's episode) comes by way of the New York Post, the official instrument of repentant attackers and recovering prostitutes:

"When I saw the video I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe that I'd ever do anything like that. I was raised to act in a respectful manner to women. I remember very little from the time of the incident. It's all fuzzy. I remember a punch — I don't remember who or why and I remember being arrested."

That's just...Wow. Still, the article paints Ferro in a positive light, talking about his love of teaching and how he tells his students that violence is bad. Yet, in the same edition of the paper, TV critic Linda Stasi goes on an anti-Jersey Shore polemic. So, which is it, Post? You hate the show but will benefit from it's notoriety? We shouldn't watch trashy reality shows, but we should forgive the monsters on them who beat up women in bars? Make up your mind, or else we're sending a black-out-drunk Ferro to your news room in the middle of the night to say "Sorry" all over your face.