The collective desire to find something to blame for Brittany Murphy's untimely death channels itself into autopsy results and prescription obsessing; Posh Spice does "the robot"; Lance Bass gay-boyfriends for Jamie-Lynn Sigler; porn star hates sex. Tuesday gossip anon.

  • Brittany Murphy gossip dump: The result of her autopsy was "normal," though I don't know why they even bother saying that, because the tox screen and other tests won't be back for days. The coroner reports "large amounts of prescription medication" in Brittany's home, including tranquilizers Klonopin and Ativan, painkillers Hydrocodone and Vicoprofen, and stuff to treat mental illness, diabetes, and infection. As for what her husband gets: Brittany had a will, which she executed before meeting Simon Monjack, and nobody knows whether she amended it. Finally, HuffPo performs an exhaustive analysis of a lifetime of fluctuating Brittany Murphy weights, if you're into that sort of thing. [TMZ] [TMZ] [TMZ] [HuffPo]
  • Studio execs want Robert Downey Jr. to quit with the "Sherlock Holmes is about gay love. Also, Watson was the bottom" jokes. "The studio wants to position this as an action-packed adventure, not Brokeback Mountain 2." But if it were going for Brokeback, what would the porn parody be? Sherlock Bones? Sheman Moans? Someone figure out a decent pun. [Popeater]
  • Jude Law's assistant, male model Ben Jackson, went on a date with Rachel McAdams, who co-starred with Law and Downey in Sherlikes Humps. This item gives hope to starfucker celebrity assistants everywhere. [NYDN]
  • Attending a matinee of Jersey Boys with her family, Victoria Beckham did "the robot" while son Cruz breakdanced. Please say someone had a camera. [Mirror]
  • Sometimes the British tabloids are so full of boldface, asterisks, and bollocks-y slang I am unable to decipher their meaning. Case in point: this item about Amy Winehouse, who either kicked a guy in the balls while pantsing the stars of a theatrical performance of Cinderella, or is fairy godmother to Mickey Rooney and had sex with the doorman at a funeral. [Sun]
  • Let's assess the likelihood of the latest Tiger Woods rumors. "Might be appearing on Saturday Night Live": Very low. "After stocking up on provisions from Costco... set sail on his yacht, Privacy": Better. [ShowBizSpy]
  • Alec Baldwin uses a butt double in It's Complicated. Phew. [Gatecrasher]
  • Jamie-Lynn Sigler broke up with boyfriend Jerry Ferrera, so she called her gay best friend Lance Bass and they spent the day shopping in Manhattan, then saw a Broadway show, then hung out at Susan Sarandon's ping pong bar in Gramercy. I love it when celebrities actually lead the lives I imagine for them. [Gatecrasher]
  • Rachel Uchitel took a "leisurely stroll along the Palm Beach shore," but there aren't enough paparazzi pics to tell if it was staged. Perhaps I am speaking only for myself, but when I go to the beach, I either swim around in the water or sit in a pile of dirt and stare vacantly at the water. But it seems celebrities are perpetually in the midst of slow-motion strolls, and getting in and out of the water, which is why, every time I see a photo of a woman strolling beside aquamarine waves, wind whipping through her hair, I am inclined to doubt the sincerity. [NYP]
  • Maria Shriver broke some more traffic laws. How have they not gotten her a chauffeur yet? [P6]
  • The former first couple of porn, Tera Patrick and Evan Seinfeld, are fighting, and they're dragging each others' sex drives into it. Tera said Evan chose porn over her; Evan says Tera didn't actually like sex: "She's not a sexual person. We barely had sex in our own marriage." It is comforting, somehow, to know that not all porn stars are megasexual freaks of nature. [P6]
  • Olivia from Sesame Street, a.k.a. actress Alaina Reed-Amini, has died of breast cancer at the age of 63. Reed-Amini was also the landlady in 227 and was in stage productions of Chicago and Hair. [HuffPo]