It's Valentine's Day, but what does that mean for the NYT's Weddings & Celebrations? And even more importantly: Gawker Weddings Expert Phyllis Nefler? Nothing but business as usual: a massive hangover, investigative reporting on Facebook, and a Gizmodo writer's wedding.

Here is where there ought to be some sort of halfassed "rant" about Valentine's Day, or at the very least a contrarian "in praise of" the holiday. You will not find that here. To be honest, I find anyone who is either a) weirdly obsessed with Valentine's Day — cutting out paper hearts, bringing FAX ME candies to the office, mass-texting everyone with a lil "HAPPY <3 DAY :) :) :)" — or b) bitter and unhappy by mere virtue of it arbitrarily being February 14 … to be suspect. It's a day, and quite frankly the most significant thing about this day is just how hungover I happen to be.

Anyway, groom Adrien Weindling sums things up better than I really can:

"Gillian walked in, and she was overwhelmingly bright, friendly, and positive, which is usually a turnoff to me."

Sorry ladies! This merry man is off the market after finding a woman who shared his passions in life: "the Upper West Side, running, and NPR radio." Sounds about right.

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From time to time we here at Altarcations headquarters like to check in with the pretty girls and handsome gents who have graced our pages in weeks past. (The Times does this occasionally too and even has a cutesy name for it: State of the Unions".)

You may recall the lifelong friendships that were forged or the clipart that was copy pasted.

But these were nothing compared to this week's tale of real live WEDDING CRASHERS and the Facebook-fueled investigation that brought them down.

Nina Pajak (nee Schwartz) chronicled here a month ago, was flipping through her wedding photos when this picture (one of three) caught her eye:

Perplexed, she asked her husband Matt and her father whether they recognized the pair. No one did. The Pajak wedding was officially crashed.

"They're such familiar looking, clean-cut hipsters that I had to reread our relatively short guest list a few times before I was satisfied that I wasn't accusing someone who was actually invited," Nina told me.

Bemused and curious, the Pajaks made a Facebook page called Find our wedding crashers! "Do you know these people?" asked the description. "We sure don't, but they were at our cocktail hour."

Let's put the power of facebook to work. Invite your friends to this group and see who long it takes before we hit our degree of separation. Really, we just want to know what they thought of the mac & cheese bites, since we didn't get to try them.

The plan worked like a charm: the crashers were identified within two days as Vicki Yufit and Rich Fulop, although not before one friend of the Pajaks came up with an alternate theory: "Maybe they were from Gawker?" (Had I known about the mac & cheese bites, honey, I would have been there for sure.)

You can watch the story unfold on the Facebook page; some enterprising sleuths even figured out that the Salahi Wannabes are to be wed at the same venue in a few months, which might explain the uninvited attendance. Tacky! I'm curious as to the etiquette of sending a wedding gift after you crash. Somehow I think the year-long grace period might be a bit compressed, for example.

I asked Nina if anyone remembered talking to Uncle Ned's kids.

"No one remembers specifically talking to them or seeing them!" she said. "But they're just sooo outrageous and adorably hip, I guess they didn't feel the need to mingle. Or maybe they were preoccupied taking photographs with a handbag that's really a camera."

Either that, or they were busy with the children.

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Hey, some people got married this weekend. A quick dash down the aisle:

Congratulations to Jesus Diaz, the senior contributing editor of our techie brother site Gizmodo, for his marriage to writer Anna Grossman. His bride is no nuptial newbie: until 2004 she wrote the Love Beat engagement column for the Observer, and then became a writer for the New York Post's wedding section. (Miss u, Ad Hoc Altarcations!)


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I am basically completely obsessed with Bailey Kindlon and Eric Johnson, who met when Bailey was producing an Oreo Cookie commercial and contracted Eric to help with song selection. (By the way, his job is to pick songs for commercials!? Some people have all the luck.) "They eventually settled on 'Baby You Belong to Me', a doo-wop song by the Bobbetts," and you know where this is going … "At Saturday's wedding, 'Baby You Belong to Me' was their featured song."

Holy moly, this bride is 43!! I'll have what she's having. I'd say mazel, but I kinda don't think these two speak any Hebrew.

Elsewhere, a proposal in the foothills of Kilimanjaro was postponed because of some lion cubs; a Bollywood stunner wed a bearded hedge funder; and we learn that the president of the League of Women Voters is … not a woman.

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In this week's face-off: two second-year medical residents marry Harvard-educated brides, but only one of them is referred to as "Dr." in the announcement. WHO HAS A WORSE CASE OF LOVING WHOM?! Let's find out.

Ciara Anna Dockery and Ryan Karl Kaple

• Groom is referred to as "Dr" in the announcement: +1
• The bride graduated cum laude from Harvard, received a master's degree in journalism from NYU, and is studying for a PhD in clinical psychology at Fordham: +6
• The groom "graduated magna cum laude from Notre Dame and received a medical degree, with honors, from Yale": +8
• The wedding took place at the Memorial Church at Harvard University: +1
• The bride's father "was a cornerback and wide receiver for the New York Jets from 1968 to 1971, and was a member of the team that won Super Bowl III in 1969": +2
• He is now a sports analyst: +1
• This must make the groom's dad happy, because he is the CFO of a "sports entertainment and management group": +2
• It's in Ohio: -1

TOTAL: 20

Alicia Cecilia Llosa and Christopher Charles Chang

• Groom is not referred to as "Dr" in the announcement: -1
• "The couple, both 28, met at Harvard, from which they graduated, she magna cum laude and he cum laude." +11
• The bride received her law degree from Harvard: +4
• The groom received his medical degree from NYU: +1
• Both earned their post grad degrees with honors: +2
• The bride is a lawyer at Davis Polk and the groom is a second-year plastic surgery resident at Yale-New Haven Hospital: +2
• Three of the four parents of the couple are in medicine: +3

TOTAL: 22