Gaga sues the ex-boyfriend suing her—he didn't invent her, he took advantage of her. Kate Winslet moons for a dead ex. Tiger's sext ex has more where those came from. Saturday gossip is the one that got away.

  • Lady Gaga is throwing a lawsuit right back at ex-boyfriend ex-producer Rob Fusari, the one who claims he invented her, named her, and deserves $30M for co-writing her songs. Gaga's lawyers says Fusari took advantage of an "inexperienced performing artist" by forcing her into an "unlawful" contract, acting as though he was her agent when in fact he was not licensed to do such a thing. Though I'm more than willing to believe Fusari is a sleaze, I like how this story reveals much about the Genesis of Gaga. In other news, I am newly mixed on the chunks of yellow in Lady Gaga's hair. I was into it as a play on blonde until someone tod me it reminded him of a stripe of dog pee in a field of snow, and now I can't get that out of my head. [NYDN]
  • Another day, another detailed-but-questionable description of the Winslet-Mendes divorce. The Daily Mail provides a long, ruminative portrait but not a single source, so I'm not sure how they know that Sam Mendes is living in his office, or that Kate is having panic attacks and moping around their "shabby chic" home. She's mooning for her dead first boyfriend, Stephen Tredre, whose specter ruined the marriage: Kate had been saving text messages from him (they had text messages that long ago? He died in 1995) and it creeped Sam out. [DailyMail via GlasgowRose]
  • Sandra Bullock's lyin' cheatin' husband is "heavily targeted and pursued" by women. Probably because he's into the trashiest, vilest kind of women in the world: Before Bombshell McGee, I didn't know neo-Nazi fameball profiteeress even existed. So thanks for introducing the world to that, Jesse James. On your tombstone it will say "Even Trashier Than We Thought." [People]
  • But wait! A bunch of "relationship experts" say Sandy and Jesse can still make it work. "Fight for your marriage, fight for it." I beg to differ. Some things—like husbands who cheat with neo-Nazi fameball profiteeresses—are not worth fighting for. [NYDN]
  • Joslyn James, Tiger Woods mistress of "slap, spank, bite and fuck till mercy" sext infamy, says she's got even worse dirt on Tiger. I've got my fingers crossed for dirty emails detailing elaborate hole-in-one fantasies; anything more (photo? video?) would be too much to bear. [NYDN]
  • Answers, finally, to lingering questions about Brittany Murphy's addictions: She received "no fewer than 200 pills every month" in the last year of he life, "sometimes as many as 400," with farcical pseudonym Lola Manilow Murphy. Vicodin and Klonopin (plus generics and variants) were the drugs of choice. One pharmacy cut her off four months before her death because "We thought there was going to be an accident there." [TMZ, TMZ]
  • Speaking of Tiger mistresses, the Gloria Allred-Rachel Uchitel lawsuit machine is firing up with a suit to stop a Vegas showman from calling Uchitel a "slut," "whore," and "hooker." She was a mistress and a de facto madame. Get it right, kid. [TMZ]
  • Some guy in West Virginia was selling tickets to a fake Lady Gaga-Glambert concert. If I were a different sort of person, I might propose this fictional event as a good place for the Rapture: Glambert grinding his crotch into Lady Gaga's painted face in a high school auditorium full of small town yokes, chuckling and flinging wads of money at their hometown con artist. [TMZ]
  • Rosie O'Donnell is planning a return to daytime TV, timed to coincide with Oprah's exit. I support this because it will make Elisabeth Hasselbeck cry jealous tears of rage if Ro gets a solo show before she does. [THR]
  • Octomom's home is facing foreclosure. It's tough supporting 14 children and paying a mortgage on the diminishing returns of tawdry tabloid infamy. [Popeater]

[Image via X17 Agency]