Kate Hudson was spotted at Coachella with weirdo British rocker Thom Yorke. Bret Michaels lives. Eating a burger is physically impossible for Heidi Montag. Kate's babies get cleared by the Department of Labor. Sunday's gossip roundup is a creep.

  • Whether she had a boob job or not, Kate Hudson was spotted at Coachella "getting comfy with Thom Yorke at Palm Springs' Ace Hotel." Thom Yorke! The lead singer of Radiohead! The man looks like an alien but has the voice of a theremin. Like most British musicians, he is physically weak but intellectually impressive. He is basically the polar opposite in every way of A Rod. Which is why we highly endorse this potential pairing. [NYDN]
  • Bret Michaels is not dead: He is, however, in critical condition after his brain hemorrhage. Michaels' father told Radar that he talked to him and "he sounded upbeat and positive but they had him sedated... but he's doing good. He sounded like my son." [Radar]
  • Jill Zarin got stuck in the bathroom before appearing on the Joy Behar show. Apparently the doorknob was missing! She found it a few minutes later in the shower. Jill was overcome with existential dread afterward and all she could talk about on the show was how her life was like being shut in a bathroom and having the doorknob thrown away. And then she went to graduate school. (Not really, but, maybe she was thinking it?) [P6]
  • Add chewing a burger to the list of things that fully-plastinated Heidi Montag is unable to do because her skin doesn't stretch that far or something. In the premiere of "The Hills" sixth season, she is eating dinner. "How's that burger?" asks her sister. "I can't really chew it." New fad diet? [NYDN]
  • Child labor news! The Department of Labor has cleared the eight adorable money factories belonging to Kate Gosselin for her new reality show "Kate Plus 8". However, they haven't been cleared for her other show "Twist of Kate." And they definitely haven't been cleared for hanging drywall, so Kate's 8 Contracting Services looks dead in the water. [TMZ]
  • Playboy photographer Steve Wayda said Kim Kardashian was better at posing naked than Ashley Dupre because Kim Kardashian had that sex tape. "Kim was much more relaxed right off the bat," he said. So: Porn star > hooker when it comes to flashing your bits for Playboy. It makes sense, because a hooker sells the illusion of real intimacy while a porn star really only exists in the audience's gaze? Oh, whatever. [NYDN]
  • Steven Seagal tried to hit on his co-stars in 1991's "Out for Justice." One woman says Seagal called her up and asked if "I wanted to perform a sex act on him," even though she had a boyfriend and he had a wife. She was fired after refusing him. She's coming forward with these allegations now because the fact that Seagal maybe had sex slaves reminded her of the fact that he did this. [P6]
  • Melissa Etheridge's ex, Tammy, says that Melissa Etheridge was lying when she talked about their breakup on Oprah. On her blog! "This will be the only place where you will get the truth," she wrote. But then she didn't say what that truth was... pageviews! [NYDN]
  • John Edwards drank a lot of white wine and was pulled over with a woman, but he convinced them to let him go. Honestly, getting a DUI seems like it would somehow be an image booster for this guy. [Inquirer]
  • Alicia Silverstone filmed a movie where she had to wear a fake pregnancy suit. Now she wants a baby. Not now, but later. [People]
  • 19 year-old Aaron Johnson, one of the stars of Kick-Ass, has a pregnant British fiancee who is 43. Woah! [People]