Some marketing minion got paid a lot of money to write a blog entry in the voice of Lourdes "Lola" Leon, Madonna's eldest daughter and her collaborator on fashion line Material Girl. So, what is Lola "for realzzzz" excited about?

Like most 14-year-olds, she's into My Chemical Romance, finally being able to dye her hair, and precociously stylish attire. She hates gladiator sandals, doesn't know what to think about rompers, and loves, loves, loves the '80s. That might just be because that is the inspiration for the soon-to-be-released clothing collection this blog entry is supposed to trick young girls into buying. Is it weird that she wants to recreate the fashion of the decade that her mother helped to define? She writes, "I am totally obsessivo [sic] about 80's shorts…You know the kind that makes your butt look kinda big, with a grunge-looking shirt tucked in." Hmm, I wonder where she got that idea? Anyway, the best part of the whole thing (written in a tween LOLz patois that is so rampant it must be fake) is this nugget, "My least favorite color is brown (because it resembles the color of something QUITE gross)." Oh, Lourdes, old enough for a clothing line, but immature enough for toilet humor.

[Material Girl Collection, via The Awl]