Sure, Madonna created a whole (possibly shady) charity to raise money for schools in Malawi, but do you know how she raises money for daughter Lourdes Leon's schooling? By selling her old Chanel boots.

Did James Franco enact the most satisfying zit-popping known to man after the Oscars? Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart make out on a dance floor. Bieber and Selena Gomez make love with their hands. Melissa Leo rather regrets dropping an f-bomb. Monday gossip is an Oscars hangover.

Rihanna gets sexy while texting. Matthew Morrison and Olivia Munn have been dating for five minutes, and already they are obnoxious. Bieber sends truck loads of flowers to Selena. Rosie O'Donnell is single again. Tuesday gossip talks dirty.

Lindsay Lohan gets a "tripped out effect" from sunglasses lined with flashing lights. James Franco has a sex tape. Rihanna's purported lesbian lover speaks. Montana Fishburne pretends to drink bleach. Tuesday gossip is a rave.

Bieber-Gomez is the new Swift-Gyllenhaal. Katie Holmes celebrates her birthday with a passionless date with Tom Cruise. Charles Barkley laughs at Brett Favre's penis. Monday gossip is for lovers.

Lindsay Lohan has a bail hearing today. James Franco got a D in acting class. Taylor Momsen slaps Tim Gunn on the wrist. Nancy Wilson and Cameron Crowe divorce. TGIFriday gossip.

[Young Lourdes listened carefully—into one ear whispered a devil, and into the other an angel, but she could not remember which was which. Taylor Momsen, Lourdes Leon, and Madonna at a Material Girl event via Splash.]

Lourdes Leon spent her summer launching a tween clothing line with mom Madonna, and yesterday was her first day at LaGuardia High School of Performing Arts, the public school that Fame was based on. Let's see how it went.

[In braids and knee socks, Lourdes Leon talks to mother and tween clothing line collaborator Madonna on the set of Madge's movie W.E. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

Why did Lourdes Leon wear a marijuana-themed wristband? Lindsay Lohan may go free tomorrow. Taylor Momsen rather regrets her latest teen angst interview. Cuba Gooding Jr. parties with Johnny Weir. Tuesday gossip makes bold statements.

Tabloid sex fiend Andrea Peyser can most accurately be summed up as a ball of ill-concealed sexual repression who constantly lashes out at delusional symbols of impropriety, out of guilt. Sad, really. Today: why are all young girls sluts, 100%?

Some marketing minion got paid a lot of money to write a blog entry in the voice of Lourdes "Lola" Leon, Madonna's eldest daughter and her collaborator on fashion line Material Girl. So, what is Lola "for realzzzz" excited about?

Lourdes wishes her mom didn't date men young enough to be her brother. A woman named Skittles Valentine tells all about her Jesse James orgy. Khloe Kardashian goes Girls Gone Wild. Thursday's gossip roundup is overexposed.

You're never too young to have a personal brand. Madonna and her precociously stylish 13-year-old daughter are co-designing Material Girl, a teen clothing line that will hopefully resist the urge to stamp "Material Girl" on the seats of gym shorts.

Unless it's a dance craze called "the boozy ostrich"? Madonna celebrates Carnival with Jesus Luz. Britney celebrates V-Day with saturated fats. Simon Monjack dismantles his Brittany Murphy charity. Heidi Montag finally moves her face. Monday's gossip roundup is hungover.

David Bowie walking in SoHo ... Jude Law playing soccer with his kids downtown ... Halle Berry arriving at her hotel in Midtown ... Helena Christensen shopping in the meatpacking district with boyfriend Paul Banks ... Natalie Portman going to lunch with a friend ... Rihanna walking downtown ... Sienna Miller arriving for a matinee performance of After Miss Julie ... Hugh Jackman playing with his kids at the park ... Carlos Leon and daughter Lourdes hanging out in SoHo ... Michelle Williams walking around ... Josh Brolin leaving his hotel ... model Kara Young walking with her son downtown ... Carrie Underwood walking in Midtown ... and Fergie catching a flight at LaGuardia.

[Madonna tries to stifle a yawn behind her hat while she and daughter Lourdes Leon sit through the ground-breaking ceremony for her school for girls in Malawi today. Image via AP]

Bar Refaeli heading to lunch yesterday at Lure Fishbar on Mercer Street ... Madonna and daughter Lourdes arriving at JFK ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts getting on their Vespa last night ... Leighton Meester filming scenes with Blake Lively for Gossip Girl outside the Empire Hotel ... Lindsay Lohan walking downtown ... Hilary Swank leaving ABC Studios ... Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson holding hands on the street ... Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman walking on the Upper West Side ... Kristen Johnston leaving a theater ... Matt Damon shooting scenes for The Adjustment Bureau ... and Rihanna arriving at Milk Studios in the meatpacking district.

It's a big day for Jewish fashion designers from the outer boroughs, clearly: Brooklyn native Isaac Mizrahi turns 48 today; meanwhile, the Bronx's very own Ralph Lauren is turning 70. Others celebrating today: Usher is turning 31. Yankees manager Joe Girardi turns 45. Actor Roger Moore is 82. Marc Jacobs' longtime business partner, Robert Duffy, is turning 55. Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks is 35. Czech model Daniela Pestova is 39. Sports radio host Jim Rome is turning 45. Writer Katha Pollitt turns 60. Wrestler/actress Stacy Keibler is 30. And Madonna's daughter, Lourdes Leon, who looks like she's turning 21, is actually turning 13 today.

Olivia Palermo walking in SoHo ... Eliot Spitzer passing by the set of Sex and the City in Midtown ... Lindsay Lohan getting out of an SUV in front of the Bowery Hotel ... Jennifer Connelly arriving at JFK with her kids ... Lourdes Leon walking with her dad Carlos in SoHo ... Kate Hudson carrying an empty Tupperware container in Midtown ... Shia LaBeouf astanding on the set of Wall Street 2 downtown ... Rihanna leaving her hotel ... Sarah Jessica Parker filming scenes from Sex & The City 2 in front of the Plaza, and walking son James to school in the Village ... Victoria Beckham arriving at JFK ... Tony Bennett walking with his wife ... Dr. Phil posing for photos outside his hotel ... and Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale heading to dinner at the Standard Grill.