That million dollar figure for LiLo's total jail earnings is looking more and more likely. Spencer Pratt is homeless. Robert Pattinson picks a fight with Courtney Love. Tuesday gossip keeps its eyes on the prize.

  • Remember that premonition that Lindsay Lohan would make $1 million off her stint in jail? It's coming true: Bidding for each of Lindsay's pre- and post-jail interviews has allegedly passed the $500,000 mark. She'll be keeping a prison diary, which will look great zooming in and out during the post-jail interview. In the meantime, she's still talking to lawyers, hoping someone can get the sentence reduced. Forget that—she should get a lawyer who can keep her in jail for longer, to maximize her earning potential. [P6, image via Pacific Coast News]
  • Speaking of Lindsay, she is weaning herself from prescription drugs. Namely Dilaudid, the extremely potent painkiller she scored by getting her wisdom teeth ripped out. [TMZ]
  • Robert Pattinson and Courtney Love are having a catfight: Love made the rounds complaining that R-Patz was all wrong to play Kurt in the upcoming Nirvana biopic, but R-Patz says he wasn't offered the role and would've said no, anyway: "I love Nirvana, but I love them a bit too much—I'd be embarrassed [to play Kurt Cobain]. I didn't get offered it. For one thing, I'm too tall, and I can't sing like him, I'm nothing like him. It's ridiculous […] You see all these comments, like from Courtney Love, saying, ‘What the fuck! He's totally wrong for it', and I'm like, ‘I fucking said no, you dick!" Courtney Love should be cursing him out on Twitter in T-minute 10... 9... 8... [PerezHilton]
  • Christina Milian and music producing husband Terius "The-Dream" Nash have separated, and probably wouldn't have told the press about it had pictures of a bikini-clad lass wrapping her legs around The-Dream's torso not emerged yesterday. [Us]
  • Mel Gibson's lawyers are making a "presentation of evidence" to the L.A. County Sheriff about how ex-girlfriend Oksana Girgorieva tried to extort Mel with those terrible tapes of him admitting to beating her and threatening to kill her—which would ultimately be beside the point to the sheriff's domestic violence investigation of him, anyway. If someone tries to extort you for committing a crime, that is illegal, but the base crime is also illegal, and besides, what was she supposed to do? Wait until he killed her? Anyway, Oksana denies the extortion claim, and now that I can imagine Mel's enraged yelling voice when he accuses of Oksana of bizarre bullshit (like tying his balls in a knot) I am even less inclined to believe anything he says, or that any minor grievance he has about Oksana matters. [TMZ]
  • Rest easy: The hard-knock criminal who stole Will.i.am's iPad has turned himself in. [TMZ]
  • Spencer Pratt is homeless. Wife Heidi Montag supposedly ditched him for the summer so she can film a new reality show find herself, and poor Spencer is bereft and alone: "Booking my room at Roosevelt Hotel Hollywood now that I have no place to live I think I should just move in there today stay near the action," he tweeted, followed by "faking it until you make it does not make it. fyi." Poor, suffering Spencer. Has a man ever suffered more? [Popeater, @spencerpratt]
  • Tragic ragamuffin child Sunny James is saved! The daughter of Jesse James will stay with "her stepmother in Texas," a.k.a. FAMED ACTRESS SANDRA BULLOCK, while Jesse is in rehab. Biological mother, ex-con, and ex-porn star Janine Lindemulder doesn't stand a chance at making Sunny love her again, ever. [X17Online]
  • After a week of partying in New York, Cristiano Ronaldo has returned to Portugal, where he reunited with newborn baby Cristiano Jr. But first, he got a "citrus body scrub" and "white teal lotion" rubdown gave him a "lustrous velvety glow." [P6]
  • Horrible Bachelor divorcee Vienna Girardi was "drunk," "crying," and "freaked out" clubbing in L.A. this weekend. Attention whore. [Us]
  • People keep writing shit with Sharpie markers on Michael Jackson's mausoleum, and it's driving the groundskeepers insane. [TMZ]
  • Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes are getting back together! Wait, no, they're not. Why do you toy with me so, gossip? [Popeater, GossipCop]