Meet Deena Nicole, <em>Jersey Shore</em>'s New Guidette

Meet Deena Nicole Cortese, a 23-year-old friend of Snooki's from New Egypt, New Jersey. According to her defunct MySpace profile (don't worry, we've got screenshots) she is "ADDiCTiVE & ExPENiIV3 LiK3 COCAiNE!" She is America's newest court jester.

The New York Post reports that the third season of the infamous MTV show will feature its first real, live Jerseyite: Deena Nicole Cortese, who will replace original cast member Angelina Pivarnick. (Angelina lost her job during the great Jersey Shore strike of 2010.) Angelina graduated from New Egypt High School in 2005, then went to community college. In one of the quickest turnaround known to reality TV casting, a video of her trash talking her "nigga" enemies appeared on TMZ almost simultaneous to the announcement that she was joining the crew. Deena Nicole has since removed her Facebook and MySpace pages, the latter of which features blingees for phrases like "iM ADDiCTiVE & ExPENiIV3 LiK3 COCAiNE!" and "I shOuLd JusT havE My oWn TV shOW." Prescient! But not prescient enough to avoid web caches and screenshots. America, meet your new monster.