You oughta know that Alanis has a bun in the oven. Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush get into a drunken brawl. Boy George thinks Lady Gaga is full of it. Jennifer Aniston pities Lindsay Lohan. Isn't Wednesday gossip ironic?

  • Alanis Morissette is pregnant. The 36-year-old wife of small-time rapper Souleye (real name: Mario Treadway) made the announcement in this week's issue of Us Weekly. In the "25 Things You Don't Know About Me" section, Alanis slyly slips "I am pregnant" in as #25. Souleye is so far removed from the celebusphere, he almost never gets identified in paparazzi pictures, thereby crippling my ability to choose an appropriate photograph for this item. I'm pretty sure he's standing beside Alanis above, but in every single photo I see of him, he looks like a totally different person, so it's possible he doesn't even exist, and is just a trick Alanis is playing on everyone. [Us, image via Getty]
  • Kanye West jumped onstage to join John Forte for a ballad and hijacked a microphone: "I'm gonna let you finish." Laughter all around. [P6]
  • Boy George thinks Lady Gaga is full of it, particularly her claim to use cocaine "occasional[ly]." In a blog for Paper Magazine he writes, "Could it be that her use of coke is not so 'occasional'? As a recovering addict who knows how dangerous 'occasional' use is, I can think of no reason for Gaga to reveal this to her young audience. My mum had the best take on this: 'She's reached the stage where she feels untouchable, you all get there—you did, son.'" He calls Gaga "almost annoyingly professional" and concludes,"Isn't saying you're an 'occasional' drug taker a bit like saying you're bisexual? That usually means you're raving." Since Gaga also claims to be bisexual, this is highly catty. [PaperMag, P6]
  • Reggie Bush tried to win Kim Kardashian back at a wedding reception for New Orleans Saints teammate Bobby McCray, but he was soshed and "aggressive due to drunkenness." The interactino escalated into a drunken melee and bodyguards eventually showed up to "pull Reggie away from Kim." He didn't physically hurt her; he was just a sloppy mess. [TMZ]
  • Former American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino is having a very bad week. Ensnared in a love triangle involving a married couple and a rumored sex tape, Fantasia overdosed on aspirin and sleeping pill last night, seemingly intentionally. Her father says she's "doing fine" now, and her manager said "Fantasia will be stronger, smarter, and better" when she gets out of the hospital "soon." [TMZ, Us]
  • Blake Lively is so sick of Gossip Girl's on-set melodramas, she's threatening to quit. Apparently she's begging to go the way of Mischa Barton by having producers kill her character so she can leave the show: "It was great at the beginning, but she's started to get bored of her storylines and all the petty fights on set. Nearly all the cast membrs have had some kind of bust-up. Besides the fact that she gets to work with her boyfriend [Penn Badgley], Blake wants to leave." [Metro]
  • Confirmed: John Travolta's hair is a rug. (Duh.) Travolta's hair shall henceforth be treated like Pam Anderson's breasts: A universally acknowledged and warmly regarded artifice. [P6]
  • Britney Spears will appear on Glee during their Britney Spears theme episode. $10 says Brittany the ditzy cheerleader says, "It's Britney, bitch." [Popeater]
  • Jennifer Aniston's new method for deflecting pity is pitying others. "I don't envy Lindsay Lohan," she said in a recent interview. "Poor thing." Meanwhile, Bill O'Reilly says Aniston is "destructive to society" for her positive comments about single moms. Of all the great arguments for Aniston-related apocalypse, he chooses a warm-and-fuzzy for moms? Losing your touch, Billo. I pity you. [Extra, Popeater]
  • Montana Fishburne: Still not speaking to her father, on account of the whole porn star thing. She does add that he gave her a "fairytale childhood," though, so maybe he'll come around. [E!]
  • "Olivia Palermo's Silent Victory Over Tinsley Mortimer": Three years ago, Olivia Palermo was the laughingstock of Manhattan society, and Tinsley Mortimer reigned supereme. But now that the fame game has expanded to include reality television, the tables have turned! Olivia's a star on The City, and the Tinz's show on the CW has been cancelled. Asked how she feels about her pyrrhic victory, Olivia said "no comment" and "I'm glad my fans support me." [P6]
  • T.I. ordered 18 bottles of Ciroc at a club in DC and started handing the bottles out to strangers. But when a lady lit a cigarette near his outdoor VIP table, he told her to scram. Lest the lesson be lost on the children of America: Smoking isn't cool, but drinking to excess is. [P6]