America's Next Top Model: Sea Monkeys
During a photoshoot with noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker Matthew Rolston—who, you know, is actually noted—everyone came out looking gorgeous. But only one girl could come out "on top" and I'll give you one guess who that was.
But first, do you understand just how important Matthew Rolston is? You don't? Really? Well, Chris has got something to tell you...
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Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's just drive the point home that yah stupid for not knowing who Matthew Rolston is by showing you just how amazing he made every one of the girls look.
With the slight exceptions of Chelsey's drag face and Liz's dead-in-the-water personality, everyone pretty much nailed a beautiful shot. Thanks, Matthew Rolston! But there can only be one girl with the best photo. And if after the last three episodes you couldn't guess whose it would be then guess what? Yah stupid.
That's right. Ann did. Again.
Despite the fact that the episode opened with everyone basically wishing her dead because of her 2-0 record when it comes to photo shoots this season, Ann managed to pull another amazing look out of her bag of tricks. What bag of tricks, you say? Well, it's hard to make out, but if you squint your eyes really hard while looking up at her you can see it hidden atop that 6'2" frame of gorgeousness. Not an ounce of dreckitude on her.
After Ann and all the other girls hobbled their way up the runway to claim their photos, it was Rihanna and her collection of Blossom-era hats who were sent home. Maybe it's because she looked too much like eventual-winner Ann. But it probably had more to do with the fact that she's a White girl named Rihanna who isn't even a singer and that's just plain odd.
So, call me rude boy if you'd like, but those reasons alone were enough for me to see Rihanna go. But how about you? Do you think she deserved to go? Was her lack of actual Rihanna-ness as confusing to you on this cycle of ANTM as all these real photographers and insightful judging panel sessions are? Because it was to me. I mean, actually trying to pick a model who may actually have a chance at a successful career? That's not the ANTM I know and love! This is:
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High Fashion, Smigh Smashion. We didn't lose our jobs and come all the way out here to see girls actually model well. We want blood-curdling screams! And on that note, here's hoping next week is another Ms. J runway teach.