Your Problems Are All In Your Head (But Still Fatal)
Breast taxes! Cortisone effects! Toxic prisons! Glaxo whistleblowers! Manhattan noise! Personalized therapies! HuffPo quackery! And the Army vs. suicide! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with pharmacologically-inspired positive mental attitude!
- Here's the thing: the patriarchal tax structure does not allow mothers to "use their tax-sheltered health care accounts to pay for breast pumps and other supplies." I guess the patriarchal tax structure doesn't need to get laid this year, hmm?
- Do cortisone shots make things better? Or, on the contrary, do cortisone shots make things worse? That's the question in a nutshell, Sherlock.
- An investigation says that US prisoners were exposed to dangerous levels of toxic metals during their work in prisons. America responded, "What time does the game start tonight?"
- The former employee who blew the whistle on unsafe practices at GlaxoSmithKline gets $96 million. And meanwhile when you told your boss that Kevin had stolen your yogurt out of the fridge for the third day in a row, the whole thing was swept under the rug.
- Warning: 98% of public spaces in Manhattan have "unhealthy" noise levels. I said ninety... I said... just call me when you get home.
- Pharma companies are working on new diagnostic tools to better personalize individual therapies, because no one loves you.
- Gee, is the Huffington Post's Health section really a "wretched hive of scum and quackery?" Well that's what the scientist say, but the quacks disagree, so we'll remain impartial.
- A new study indicates that women who have low sex drives may have a problem that originates in the brain. Haha that's weird cause we woulda thought the problem originates in their [MADLIBS].
- If you get sepsis, it will mess up your body and mind for years to come. So don't get sepsis.
- The US Army's undertaken a big new study to find out the best suicide prevention programs. Early leader: staying the fuck out of the US Army.
