Barack Obama's trip to his ancient Muslim homeland of Indonesia is splashing all sorts of tender boyhood memories across the newspapers, like his gay male nanny who later became a transvestite volleyball player. Glenn Beck just came in his pants.

On the occasion of his Indonesia trip, the New York Times canvasses the old neighborhood for memories of young Barry. And look what they found!

His nanny was an openly gay man who, in keeping with Indonesia's relaxed attitudes toward homosexuality, carried on an affair with a local butcher, longtime residents said. The nanny later joined a group of transvestites called Fantastic Dolls, who, like the many transvestites who remain fixtures of Jakarta's streetscape, entertained people by dancing and playing volleyball.

Obama's association with a Muslim gay will no doubt add fuel to the fire for conservatives who argue that he is attempting to bring Sharia law, and its well known relaxed attitude toward homosexuality, to the United States.

The Times also found some boyhood friends who revealed Obama's childhood plot to become president and nationalize the banks:

Mr. Obama asked a group of boys whether they wanted to grow up to be president, a soldier or a businessman. A president would own nothing while a soldier would possess weapons and a businessmen would have money, the young Obama explained.

Mr. Januadi and his younger brother, both of whom later joined the Indonesian military, said they wanted to become soldiers. Another boy, a future banker, said he would become a businessman.

"Then Barry said he would become president and order the soldier to guard him and the businessman to use his money to build him something," Mr. Januadi said. "We told him, ‘You cheated. You didn't give us those details.' "

Of course he cheated, Mr. Januadi. How naive can you be about this monster?

[Photo of statue of Obama as a boy in Indonesia via AP]