Ashton Kutcher Studying Thai Boxing to Prepare for Armageddon
Like many people, I have often idly wondered which actor from That 70s Show I would most want in my fallout shelter. And at last, I have a definitive answer: Ashton Kutcher. He's studying Muay Thai! He owns guns!
Kutcher told Men's Fitness that his "physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the end." And, no, not "end," like, his butt. "End," like, the end of civilization as we know it:
It will not take much for people to hit the panic button. The amount of convenience that people rely on based on electricity alone. You start taking out electricity and satellites, and people are going to lose their noodle.
"And people are going to go, 'That land's not yours, prove that it's yours,' and the only thing you have to prove it's yours is on an electronic file... People's alarm systems at their homes will no longer work, Neither will our heating, our garbage disposals, hot-water heaters that run on gas but depend on electricity.
"What happens when all our modern conveniences fail? I'm going to be ready to take myself and my family to a safe place where they don't have to worry.
Let's hope he's also saving enough copies of Just Married to help restock video stores when civilzation is finally rebuilt! Kutcher is apparently studying skills that will be helpful in an Omega Man situation, including Krav Maga, Muay Thai, running (great skill for the post-apocalypse), and Bikram yoga, which I guess will help you relax after eating your own children.
And, skeptics! Let it not be said that Master Kutcher has no experience in the life of the rugged wanderer:
And he admits he tasted what life could be like after a major national or international calamity when he, Moore and her kids were left without power for 14 hours at their mountain cabin last Christmas.
He adds, "I got my guns out. We made a fire. We went to the grocery store... People were rolling in and out, clearing out all the shelves... It was like a preview."
Seems weird to bring your guns to the grocery store, bro! But, save me a place in your fallout shelter.
[San Francisco Chronicle via Salome Valentine; image via Getty]