Kristen Stewart Is the Fairytale Princess of Our Dreams
Kristen Stewart may soon be whistling while she works. Also today: We have two new Charlie's Angels, Will Ferrell gets an office job, and this New Year's Eve movie keeps getting better.
Hollywood's most sparkling and gregarious actress, the irrepressibly bubbly Kristen Stewart, might be headed into the fairytale theater. Rumor has it that the Twilight sunbeam is in talks to play Snow White in the upcoming Snow White and the Huntsman, in which Viggo Mortensen might play the Huntsman. Charlize Theron has already signed on to play the Evil Queen. Because sure, there is a planet somewhere where it is believable that Charlize Theron, golden ray-god from Beautyville, would be jealous of Kristen Stewart, moping frown-demon from Blahsburg. But it's not this planet! [Deadline]
As previously mentioned, Real Housewife of New York LuAnn "Crackerjacks" De Lesseps has been cast in a small role on an upcoming episode of Law & Order: Rapes a Go-Go as "an eccentric art patron who poses semi-nude for a painter." Ohhh fantastic. "Hey, Picasso, peep these lava lumps. Ya ever see tits like these before? Yeah, there were done by a doctor up'n Mont Tremblant name'a Jean-Georges Fricassee, craziest French Cannuck you'll ever meet, I tell ya. Hate goin' up north, sneaking across the border and all that, as I ain't got a passport on account'a my various legal troubles, plus dealin' with them wackadaisy accents, but you wanna get beauty-balls put in cheap 'n' right, that's where you gotta go. Hey, where's Meloni at? Wanna show Meloni mah melons. Get it? Meloni? Melons? Just a little joke. Just tryin' to mellow the room, y'know? Y'know?" I can't wait! [P6]
America's Finest Movie, the upcoming Valentine's Day followup New Year's Eve, has added another cast member to its impressive roster. Josh Duhamel, an actor who disappears so fully into every role that when people see pictures of him as himself or hear his name they say "Who?" (that's why they say "Who?", right?), will be skipping merrily alongside Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Hilary Swank, Halle Berry, Sofia Vergara, Abigail Breslin, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sienna Miller, Jessica Biel, and Ashton Kutcher. (I saved the best two for last.) But who will play opposite Josh Duhamel in his little romantic story? Well, we need someone to match his electric dynamism. May I suggest this broom handle I've placed a wig on? I smell chemistry! [The Wrap]
Heyyy nerds! Gather 'round and I'll tell you a tale. As I'm sure you are all aware, there is a movie adaptation of Stephen King's book series The Dark Tower afoot, and now director Ron Howard has to find his actors. The rumor today is that Spanish lover and baby maker Javier Bardem is Howard's top choice for the lead. I haven't read the books (because I was too busy partyin' and gettin' laid!! suck it nerds!!! No, I was reading Star Wars books actually) so I have no idea if he works for the part (Roland Deschain), but in general you could do a lot worse than Javier Bardem, right? [EW]
Uh oh, watch out! Mad Minka Kelly is going to start kicking butt and taking names. Well, maybe. Supposedly the Friday Night Lights actress is closing in on a deal to star in the new Charlie's Angels pilot that some geniuses dreamt up, alongside Transformers boombalottie Rachael Taylor and the previously announced Annie Ilonzeh. At least she'll have a healthy outlet for her rage. Meanwhile, we'll have more rage than before, because this thing actually appears to be happening. [Deadline]
OK, well, this helps with the rage a little bit. Will Ferrell will be guesting on four episodes of The Office this season, helping to wave goodbye to the departing Steve Carell. He'll be playing an equally incompetent branch manager from elsewhere. That will be funny, I think! I know some folks are down on Ferrell these days, but not me. That man is funny and makes me laugh. The whole Gator thing in The Other Guys made so many laughs for me! He is good at the jokes. Maybe he'll stay on the show forever! [EW]
Aha. Lifetime: Television for Depressed Prairie Wives is jumping into the Wills & Kate wedding hysteria and producing an original movie called William & Kate. (If you don't know who I'm talking about, please turn in your gun and your badge because you are not a team player.) They've cast this beast to play Wills, and Kate has not yet been cast. Any chance Harry might play himself? And then is there any chance he'll require the services of a fluffer while on set? I, uh, have a friend who might be interested. Lemme know, Lifetime! [Deadline]
[Photo via Getty]