Actress Penelope Cruz has made her directorial debut with a five-minute commercial for Agent Provocateur, promoting L'Agent, the lingerie line she designed with her sister Monica, an equal opportunity international smoke show.

Party supply coordinator-turned-future Queen of England Jimmy Fallon welcomed his first child with wife Nancy Juvonen early Tuesday morning: a daughter named Winnie Rose Fallon.

Dropped in the still of the night by Sony, the first official teaser trailer for Skyfall — the twenty-third installment in Eon Productions' 50-year-old James Bond film series — reveals about as much as those next-episode previews at the end of Mad Men.

Demi Moore wears her ring but walks alone. Soulja Boy ended up in jail last night. Nikki Reed's wedding dress has 100 diamond buttons. Emma Watson returns to college. Tuesday gossip speaks softly and carries precious gems.

Apparently during Sunday night's ungodly awful Oscars telecast, co-presenters (and apparent ice cream salesmen) Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin did a little dance and kissed each other before they walked up to the mic. Great fun, right? Best thing in a bleak night! Except, we didn't get to see it because the producers instead cut to Bardem's wife Penelope Cruz. Boo!

"Terrified" Dianna Agron flees ex-boyfriend and co-star Alex Pettyfer. Lindsay Lohan heads back to court. Eva Mendes naked pictures stolen! Charlie Sheen parties with porn stars on a yacht. Come and get your Wednesday gossip.

Javier Bardem lives in Los Angeles, but doesn't drive. More interestingly, he notes that it's akin to "living on the moon, and being afraid of aliens. They are everywhere." He has clearly never taken Astronomy.

Kristen Stewart may soon be whistling while she works. Also today: We have two new Charlie's Angels, Will Ferrell gets an office job, and this New Year's Eve movie keeps getting better.

Jesse James isn't a Nazi, he's just really "into history," OK? Padma Lakshmi's custody battle erupts. Jessica Simpson fights to keep an embarrassing exercise video under wraps. Wednesday's gossip roundup comes back to bite your well-toned butt.

Despite his heavy accent, Oscar-winning Javier Bardem can do a really good impression of Woody Allen. Inside, he laughs at Conan's hair, to which he replied "You have some nerve after No Country For Old Men." Harsh, but true.

Snooki sings a requiem for her coiffure of yore. Penelope Cruz confirms her pregnancy. Montana Fishburne is going to rehab. Chelsea Clinton averts her eyes from her husband. Come revel in the delights of Tuesday gossip.

Today at Gawker.TV, Ellen Degeneres dances her ass of on the So You Think You Can Dance finale, Kieran Culkin is accused of being a nintendo addict, and a passenger from Steven Slater's heroic flight speaks on the Early Show.

On The Tonight Show, Bardem revealed his confusion with the term "chick flick" in regards to his new movie. Watch as the Oscar winning actor offers his take on the common American phrase.

To celebrate, the starcrossed lovers of Wasilla are dressed like Jehovah's Witness proselytizers on the cover of Us. Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem got married in secret. Are Rihanna and Chris reuniting? Wednesday gossip has wedding fever.

Actors Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem, who are impossibly talented and good-looking and rich and Spanish, were married earlier this month, at a friend's house in the Bahamas, of course. Maybe that's where Colton Harris-Moore was headed? [AP]

Christian Bale and Javier Bardem are in a plotless romantic drama. New entries in The Da Vinci Code and Fast and the Furious series of popular films. A movie about a shark attack. Trade Roundup: let us do this thing.

A pregnant Padma Lakshmi withdrawing cash from an ATM ... Nicole Kidman leaving her apartment building in the West Village ... Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem arriving at JFK ... Kelly Bensimon shopping at Whole Foods ... Keri Russell talking on her cell phone ... Hugh Jackman picking up daughter Ava from school ... Catherine Zeta-Jones exiting her apartment building on Central Park West ... Josh Duhamel and Fergie walking around SoHo ... Rachel McAdams getting out of a car in front of ABC studios ... Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz leaving Bloomingdale's with their son Bronx ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking in the Village ... and Bethenny Frankel walking her dog in Midtown.

• A-Rod dumpee Kate Hudson was "consoled" by fellow Rodriguez ex Madonna at the premiere of Nine on Tuesday night. As for A-Rod, he was spotted in Miami yesterday, where he supposedly made the moves on a blonde at a restaurant but came up short. There's hope for A-Rod and Kate yet, though. The two have reportedly been speaking on the phone this week, and Hudson is still hoping they can patch things up. [P6, NYDN]
• A car that Anne Hathaway was riding in struck a cyclist in LA yesterday. Thankfully, Anne emerged unscathed. But ever the good girl, she hopped out of the car to tend to the biker and was photographed looking concerned. [TMZ, People]
• Today in Tiger: Elin Nordegren has supposedly made up her mind that she's leaving him, and has been shopping for divorce attorneys before she plans to head to Sweden for Christmas; Woods' high school girlfriend is now blaming the whole mess on Tiger's father, who may have been a serial cheater; Jessica Simpson is denying reports she ever hooked up with the golfer; and as for Tiger himself, he's supposedly spent the past few days holed up at home where he spends his time eating cereal, watching cartoons, and feeling depressed.

• Tiger Woods hasn't spoken to the cops or the media since he crashed his SUV into a tree outside his Florida home on Friday morning, although he did release a statement on his website yesterday. Did the crash take place as Tiger was running away from his enraged wife? Did Tiger really have an affair with club promoter (and 9/11 widow) Rachel Uchitel? That's all up in the air at the moment, although Uchitel has already hired spotlight-loving lawyer Gloria Allred to represent her, so you can expect this story to play on for weeks to come. [NYP, TMZ, TMZ]
• The fame-seeking classy couple who crashed the state dinner last week, Michaele and Tareq Salahi, are looking for a six-figure fee to tell their story, according to TV producers. A spokesman for the couple says that's totally false. Decide for yourself who you'd like to believe. [NYT, NYP, NYDN]
• Did Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal break up? A "close friend" of the actress says yes, but the couple is denying it. [People]
• Tinsley Mortimer may have a German prince for a boyfriend and she may be traipsing around town with Constantine Maroulis, but she's still got her ex-husband, Topper, wrapped around her finger. They reportedly talk three times a day and he's offered to appear on her reality show to help boost buzz. They may even get back together "for ratings," according to a source. [P6]

• Is disgraced publicist Ali Wise the latest addition to the cast of Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show? Possibly! Wise apparently wants people to know "she's still out on the scene and doing fine" and taped an appearance at the opening of pal Stacey Bendet's new store last week. And she's expected to turn up in other episodes of the show. Let's just hope that Wise—who allegedly stalked women her ex dated—and the Tinz don't clash over any German princes or former American Idol contestants, or things could get ugly. [NYDN]
• In case you were worried that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were going through a rough patch, you can stop stressing. They celebrated her birthday at a club in the meatpacking district over the weekend and reportedly "looked very much in love all night." [P6]
• Penelope Cruise still hasn't confirmed whether or not she's engaged to Javier Bardem, but she's been shopping for a wedding dress recently, at least according to In Touch magazine's "sources." [In Touch via NYDN]
• Agyness Deyn's super-short hair is her signature, but it has its downsides, too, it seems. A woman propositioned the Brit model at a party the other night. Deyn "politely turned her down." [P6]