Thanks to a deft culling of the herd, there are only two Real Housewives of New York left to terrorize the Big Apple and they're being rewarded with a healthy raise. It seems like they're actually going to make some real money now.

J.Lo parties until 3:30AM, and looks like she might be straining herself. LuAnn de Lesseps dances on a table. Who stole David Copperfield's precious magician award? Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger need three larger-than-life bronze statues of himself? Monday gossip goes too far.

Last night I was too busy being drag queen Sylvia London's date to Michael Musto's book party to watch The A List but, guess what, Dustin & Jayden, Manhattan's most obnoxious homosexuals were there! They were having a kiki about all the gossip on the show, so we listened in rather than listen to Countess Crackerjacks sing.

We've been hearing whispers for the better part of a week that Kelly Bensimon, Alex McCord, and former Gawker intern Jill Zarin have been fired from the Real Housewives of New York and now it seems like it is official. Goodbye, sweet, sweet ladies.

Kanye West is running his mouth off again, this time showing some sympathy for the devil. J. Lo and Steven Tyler are fighting about money, Ashton Kutcher is a thief, and Lindsay Lohan finally met someone crazier than her. Monday's gossip is revisionist history.

George Clooney's rumored rebound fling could fling him across the room. Carey Mulligan gets engaged. Kim Kardashian emulates Kate Middleton. Hugh Hefner planks. Demi Lovato credits her success to Barney the dinosaur. Thursday gossip dominates.

Following tonight's season finale of Real Housewives of New York, stars Sonja Morgan and Countess LuAnn de Lesseps spent some time yakking it up with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live.

Given his well-documented affinity for NeNe Leakes, it should come as no surprise that Anderson Cooper is quite fond of Bravo's Real Housewives series, a fact he finally admitted this week. But even a superfan like Cooper had to acknowledge the tragedy that is Countess LuAnn de Lesseps' new music video, which—along with the other pop star wannabe Housewives—served as the subject of his "Ridiculist" segment on Wednesday night's AC360.

Not happy with all the eardrum damage caused by her first aural abomination, Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is back with a new song and a new video, this time co-starring some other Real Housewives of New York. Know what? It's not completely horrible!

Arnold's son discovers the truth. Maria looks for a bachelorette pad. William and Kate get home okay. And Pink gets on a high horse about horses. Saturday gossip is rapture-ready.

Neither Father Dowling, Matlock, Jessica Fletcher, or any other geriatric detective could figure out just who died last night on the Real Montauk Monsters of New York. Was it Sonja who got thrown from a horse? Was it Ramona who committed social suicide? Was it Kelly who buried her head in the sand and suffocated? Who knows?

Last night the concert for the world's worst David Bowie cover band, Real Housewives of Suffragette City, did their horrendous rendition of "Fashion" (Turn to the left!) with a runway show and photo shoot. The Goon Squat has officially come to town. Beep beep!

Real Housewives of New York star LuAnn "Crackerjacks" de Lesseps, an American countess, lives a life of rarefied class and privilege that us gutter dwellers can only dream of. So what is it like for her when she and her lordling children decide to see how the common man lives? Well, it is very frightening! But also enriching. In an interview with Brick Underground, the noblewoman discusses one such experience, riding a New York City subway car.

Kristen Stewart may soon be whistling while she works. Also today: We have two new Charlie's Angels, Will Ferrell gets an office job, and this New Year's Eve movie keeps getting better.

Kim tithes to a church her mother founded with a wayward Rick Warren disciple. Countess LuAnn gets a job. Jennifer Aniston isn't adopting a baby. Jenna Jameson calls Chelsea Handler a "whore." Thursday gossip sends mixed messages.

Owen Wilson, Marion Cotillard, and Jewel are having babies. Kanye got his album cover banned on purpose. Michael Douglas beats cancer. Andy Dick gets kicked out of the Oscars of porn. Tuesday gossip giggles and coos.

The nude woman who got Charlie Sheen hospitalized says he hit her and has hired a lawyer. Billy Ray Cyrus gets a divorce. David Arquette cried during his first post-Courteney sexual encounter. Thursday gossip shall overcome.

Now that sex tape actress Danielle Staub was possibly fired from Real Housewives of New Jersey she needs more attention than ever. She'll get plenty of negative attention for this performance of her dance single on a local news show!

Now is your chance to reprimand Jennifer Aniston. Spencer Pratt is writing a tell-all. Miranda Kerr is with child. Lindsay Lohan is off drugs. Twelve Duggars get the chicken pox at the same time. TGIFriday gossip.

Not happy merely ruining eardrums with her aural abomination "Money Can't Buy You Class," Real Housewife LuAnn de Lesseps stopped by off-Broadway show Love, Loss, and What I Wore last night. Word is she's thinking of joining the rotating cast.