Filter-free nutter Mike Huckabee, presidential politics' best unknowing imitation of Charlie Sheen, has concluded his hilarious week of incoherent babbling about Barack Obama's Kenyan childhood, scary Mau Maus, Tony Blair's loaned Winston Churchill bust, Rotary Club vs. madrassa membership statistics, and Natalie Portman's vagina with a snippy press release about that last one.

He unnecessarily summoned the critics again yesterday with his concerns, aired on a Monday radio show, about how Natalie Portman's out-of-wedlock devil pregnancy is "glamorized" by the liberal media, which distorts the harsh realities of single parenthood.

We did not understand this argument when Bill O'Reilly used it on Jennifer Aniston, and we don't understand it now. The media really doesn't go out of its way to tell all young women that if they just hop aboard the nearest member, they will all transform into the lovely, talented, and wealthy Natalie Portman. It's not what Natalie Portman advocates at the top of her lungs either. And it's not something that young women would believe even if this powerful PR offensive existed, because it's a cartoonish concept on its face. Also: Engaged Natalie Portman is allowed to be happy about her pregnancy, and the media is allowed to be happy that she's happy. Was it maybe Ellen Degeneres or someone back in the day who got a lot of glowing magazine covers for being a single lesbian mother? Is that the antecedent that Huckabee and O'Reilly are working with? It's gotta have something to do with lesbians.

So anyway, here's the clarification/reiteration that appeared on the HuckPAC website today:

In a recent media interview about my new book, A Simple Government, I discussed the first chapter, "The Most Important Form of Government Is a Father, Mother, and Children." I was asked about Oscar-winner Natalie Portman's out-of-wedlock pregnancy. Natalie is an extraordinary actor, very deserving of her recent Oscar and I am glad she will marry her baby's father. However, contrary to what the Hollywood media reported, I did not "slam" or "attack" Natalie Portman, nor did I criticize the hardworking single mothers in our country. My comments were about the statistical reality that most single moms are very poor, under-educated, can't get a job, and if it weren't for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death. That's the story that we're not seeing, and it's unfortunate that society often glorifies and glamorizes the idea of having children out of wedlock.

A few things... no, nevermind, we're done breaking down Mike Huckabee paragraphs for the week. But you will probably find much to discuss here, if you're willing. What was that about "...and if it weren't for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death"? Interesting work-in of big government sneering, or not? Five to seven page reports, double spaced, Times New Roman size 11, on our desks by Monday morning.

[Image via AP]