Chris Brown apologizes for breaking GMA's window. Whoopi Goldberg confesses she was high when she won her Oscar. Ashley Greene's post-Jonas rumspringa continues. And Westboro Baptist Church plans to protest at Liz Taylor's funeral. Thursday gossip has regrets.

  • Chris Brown finally got around to apologizing for busting Good Morning America's window, during a live appearance on BET's 106 & Park yesterday. (Celebrities don't actually have to speak to the people they are apologizing to. They just exhort their sorrow into the air, and assume the message will get to the intended listener eventually.) "First of all, I want to apologize to anybody who was startled in the office, or anybody who was offended or really looked, and [was] disappointed at my actions. Because I'm disappointed in the way I acted."
    Meanwhile, GMA says Chris threw a cooler, not a chair, and that the show's hair and makeup staff called security on him. Chris explained on BET, "I felt like, 'OK, they told us this just so they can get us on the show so they can exploit me.' You know, that's what I thought. I kind of took it very, very hard. And I kept my composure throughout the interview, although you could see me upset, you know. I kept my composure and did my performances, and when I got back, I just let off, like, steam in the back." Meanwhile, Chris's mother is reportedly "very disturbed and upset" and lectured Chris by phone shortly after his tantrum. Dancing with the Stars is going ahead with Chris' scheduled performance, and has forbid cast members from publicly commenting on it. [THR, GMA, Radar, Radar, image of Brown at last night's album release party via Getty]
  • Tiger Woods' new girlfriend is so young, she spent her childhood drawing pictures for him with crayons. This is like those stories about Katie Holmes having a celebrity crush on Tom Cruise when she was a little girl. Which is to say, gross. [Us]
  • Ja Rule pleaded guilty to two counts of tax evasion and has agreed to pay over $1.1 million in back taxes and fines. He could go to jail for two years for that, and already has a three-year sentence for weapons possession scheduled to start next week. So, five years from now, Ja Rule will either emerge with an angry prison album, or drift into obscurity and never be spoken about ever again. Goodbye for now. [LATimes]
  • Ashley Greene was "all over" Chris Evans at a club in L.A., which means she's either not exclusive with post-Jonas rebound boyfriend Jared Followill, or the thought of peeling back Captain America's star-spangled tights was too sexy to resist. [E!]
  • Camilla Parker Bowles on Kate Middleton: "Kate's a lovely girl. We're very lucky. I'm very much looking forward to it." She also made a joke about "sav[ing] money on the wedding." Backstabber! Passive-aggressive royal in-fighting! Fire up the ol' catfight machine and get on it, British press! [People]
  • The Jesus freaks at Westboro Baptist Church plan to protest Liz Taylor's funeral, to punish Taylor for being an "enabler" of gays, which will likely require them to go to Los Angeles. Hopefully the strapping young lads of Westboro meet some nice boys in West Hollywood, and have good, old-fashioned self-hating sexual intercourse afterwards. Orgasm the hate away, boys. [TMZ]
  • In recently uncovered video footage from 1992, Whoopi Goldberg admits to smoking a joint before accepting her 1991 Oscar for Ghost. This was back when Whoopi had dreadlocks down to her waist, so I mean, duh. The real question whether she gets baked before going on The View. [TMZ]
  • Reese Witherspoon's "secret wedding" to talent agent Jim Toth will be at Reese's $7M ranch in Ojai, California, and will feature "cactus and greenery," says Radar. Ex-husband Ryan Phillippe will not be present, but the kids he had with Reese will be in the wedding party. [Radar]
  • Angelina Jolie's boobs looked kinda big the other day, so now people think she's pregnant. Hollywood rite of passage: When padded bras make the tabloids say "preggers" instead of "silicone." [Celebitchy]
  • Model Sessilee Lopez's "momager" wrote a book about managing her daughter's career: "I personally know of one model who dipped cotton balls in orange juice and consumed it to feel full. Later it came out that she had anorexia." Kind of wish that second sentence was just, "Later it came out." Period. [Fashionista]
  • Rob Kardashian had an emergency appendectomy last night. He is "fine and doing well." [Us]