Loud person Donald Trump, who is running for president from the Insane Internet Commenter wing of the Republican Party, has decided that not enough people are paying attention to him. So he wrote a letter to The New York Times!

And, oh, boy, is it a good one! Trump has a longstanding feud with Gail Collins, the New York Times editorial columnist known for her wry smile and remarkable ability to not gouge out her own eyes when she has to talk to David Brooks; she has written "nasty and derogatory articles" about him, and he once "sent [her] a copy of [her] column with [her] picture circled and 'The Face of a Dog!' written over it."

This week, Collins used her column to mock Trump and his completely insane and also probably disingenuous belief that President Obama was born in Kenya. And Trump realized he could get at least one more day of press in the Times if he responded. Which he did:

Even before Gail Collins was with the New York Times, she has written nasty and derogatory articles about me. Actually, I have great respect for Ms. Collins in that she has survived so long with so little talent. Her storytelling ability and word usage (coming from me, who has written many bestsellers), is not at a very high level. More importantly, her facts are wrong!

Do you mind if we, just...?

Her storytelling ability and word usage (coming from me, who has written many bestsellers), is not at a very high level.

Trump goes on to use his storytelling ability and word usage in service of repeating a couple birther myths, while Collins, in her column, discredits them. And everyone wins, in the end, especially Donald Trump, who does not care if you think he's stupid, as long as you're thinking about him.

In related news, Rupert Murdoch's iPad newspaper The Daily is actually sending people press releases about the fact that 59 percent of their readers chose Trump in an "unscientific" presidential poll. (Second choice: The oldest dog in America.) Guys! We don't know much about the new world of iPad publishing, but: Are you sure that's something you want people to know?

[NYT; image via AP]