Gwyneth Paltrow diagnoses her haters. Tareq Salahi strips down. Black Swan gets a little bit real-life crazy. Amanda Seyfried buys a dead horse. Saturday gossip is—as always—projecting.

  • Humble small business owner Gwyneth Paltrow thinks that people hate her because she works really hard. "Everything in my life that's good is because I worked my ass off to get it and to maintain it," she says. Haters, meanwhile, are "projecting": "If I hear of something really unkind... almost immediately I'll be like, 'poor guy.' What state are they in that they're seeing that or projecting that?" (The answer: Delaware.) [PopEater]
  • It's unclear if the ass Paltrow worked off for happiness is the same as her butt, which a personal trainer recently "redesigned." (It used to be "long [and] square.") The new butt features "sleek, modern design," a greater emphasis on photography and a "subtle symbiosis" with the Daily Beast. Ha, kidding! Her new butt looks like a butt. [Us]
  • Ballerina Sarah Lane, who acted as Natalie Portman's double in Black Swan, says that producers are "completely lying about the amount of dancing Natalie did in the movie." After her 20/20 interview, Lane stabbed Portman to death in the dressing room. Or did she? [EW]

White House party crasher Tareq Salahi has submitted self-shot test photos to Playgirl magazine, and, because this is how it works these days, TMZ. "[T]he plan is to shoot Tareq riding into the sunset on a HORSE," TMZ writes, allowing their thought to trail off in an ellipsis before concluding "completely naked." [TMZ]

  • Shockingly, Jessica Simpson will wear a low-cut wedding dress. "I have a long neck," she says, "so I like to show off my décolletage." [People]
  • Kate from Lost is pregnant! The father is her non-famous boyfriend. Through her publicist, Lost costar Emilie de Ravin released a statement saying "Moy boybeeeee." [Us]
  • Amanda Seyfried bought a dead horse. Not to eat, or anything! No, we are reasonably sure that Amanda Seyfried is not going to eat the stuffed dead horse she purchased. We will update this post if she does. [PopEater]

[image via AP]