Harry Potter Is the Ultimate Terrorist Slayer
The next, and final, Harry Potter film just might profit off the death of a terrible old terrorist. Weird world we live in. Also today: some TV pilot news, more Hunger Games casting, and a Chris Hemsworth makeout fantasy.
- Oh brother. Now that Osama bin Laden has bin laden to rest (woof), everyone's scrambling to profit off of this thing. Some are saying that the first likely beneficiary will be Harry Potter and the
Holy GrailDeathly Hallows Part 2 which will drop like a bludger into multiplexes this July. Why? Well, because there's the whole epic story of an evil villain and his network of loyal terrorists and of course the [SPOILER ALERT, BUT NOT REALLY, I MEAN COME ON GUYS] inevitable vanquishing of said villain. Plus Voldemort dies on May 2nd and we heard about bin Laden on May 1st, so it's basically the same story. Will moviegoers recognize this similarity and flood to the movie en masse? Um, maybe, but they were going to anyway, so I'm not sure it really matters. At least trade magazines are getting to capitalize on the whole thing by writing about capitalizing on the whole thing! [THR] - Speaking of magical fantasy things, magical fantasy person Lee Pace has been cast as the King of the Elves in magical fantasy movie The Hobbit. Oh, OK, before you jump on me, I guess the character's name is actually Thranduil, Elvenking. Or something. Anyway, for you non-Tolkieners out there, Thranduil is the father of Legolas, the elf in the Lord of the Rings movies who's played by Orlando Bloom. Hm. So they're father and son? Any chance we could do a rewrite on that so they're boyfriend and boyfriend, and then the movie is just Lee Pace and Orlando Bloom in blond wigs making out for two hours? I'm just asking for a friend. Pete? Whaddaya think? [EW]
- Australian sexaroo Chris Hemsworth is apparently the lead guy in the running to play the Huntsman in Snow White and the Huntsman. The Thor star is the latest guy mentioned for the role, which was previously offered to Viggo Mortensen and Hugh Jackman. So they're going younger, I guess. And sexier. Well, depending on your tastes. My question, or rather my friend's question: Could Chris Hemsworth get cast also in The Sex Elf Trilogy with Lee Pace and Orlando Bloom? Thank you. I mean my friend thanks you. In other casting news, Larry David has taken the role of a mean nun named Mother Mengele in the Three Stooges movie that the Farrelly brothers are doing. Larry David doesn't need to be in the elf makeout orgy. Says my friend. [Deadline, Deadline]
- Hungrum Gums! Hungah Grimz! Hunger Games! Yes, it's time for our near-daily dose of Hunger Games casting news. The producers have cast the two tributes from District 6, which we don't really know much of anything about. The kids... uh... they grow old together and have a great life. Yes. Also! There's rumor afoot that Woody Harrelson has been offered the role of Head Gamemaker Seneca Crane, which is kind of really weird. Also apparently Stanely Tucci (yay!) and Lenny Kravitz (huh?) have been offered roles, but nobody knows which ones. They better not let Lenny Kravitz play Cinna. That's alls I'm saying. I bet they want Tucci to either play the announcer guy or President Snow. What do youuuu think? [THR, Vulture]
- Kenneth Branagh can breathe a sigh of relief. Or at least half a sigh of relief. His big action direction debut, the silly looking (but not as silly looking as Green Lantern) superhero flick Thor, has already grossed some $90 million in the increasingly lucrative overseas market. So it opens here on Friday and it's already a hit! Guys, this is good for Ken and all, but we should be worried. Americans should be the ones deciding what's a hit, not some weirdo foreigners. Otherwise movie makers will start catering to them and we'll all have to deal with art-pansy movies about feelings and rain and techno music and stuff. We don't want that! Save our movies! Keep Hollywood in Hollywood! Adam & Eve, not Adamo & Eva! Other things! America! Thor killed bin Laden! [The Wrap]
- Here is an interesting rundown of all the TV pilots currently in contention at the big five networks. There is some good news — Debra Messing's Broadway dramedy Smash is looking like a sure thing, as are Maria Bello in Prime Suspect and that hilariously bad sounding Edgar Allan Poe solves crimes show — and there is some bad — the Sarah Michelle Gellar show isn't on terra firma, Chelsea Handler's Haha Vodka Jokes thing is tracking well, the sheer existence of the Tim Allen show. But mostly it just reminds you how hard it is to ever get a television show on the air. Just so damn hard. What a scary world! Why would anyone want to work in it? Why would any idiot ever want to write for television? I'm asking for a friend. [Deadline]