NYPD officer Kenneth Moreno (pictured) and his partner are on trial for allegedly raping a drunk woman in her East Village apartment in 2008. Moreno is referred to in tabloid shorthand as "RAPE COP," which is maybe a wee bit prejudicial, but, you know, tabloids. Yesterday, Moreno took the stand in his own defense. Her version: she came home drunk, the cops came into her apartment multiple times, and Moreno raped her while she was incapacitated. His version: he is too sexxxy for his own good.

As Moreno tells it, this drunk chick simply could not keep herself off him. She asked him if he "liked her." She kissed him. She "started rubbing her buttock area against my groin area." (Although Moreno says no sex took place.) She begged him to come back and see her. What could he do, but comply, in a professional manner?

"I promised her I would come back," he explained. "I saw no harm in it." ...

He also admitted that it was he who made a bogus 911 call, claiming to be "John" from Canada and reporting a homeless man asleep in a vestibule three doors down from the woman's apartment to give himself an excuse to return.

He also testified that he sang her a verse of "Livin' on a Prayer," as she vomited. Best first second and third dates ever! Love is never "by the book," people. Officer Moreno was too sexy for his uniform, etc.

Vomit.

[NYP; photo via AP]