Ramzan Kadyrov, murderous warlord and "president" of Chechnya, is trying to recast his country as a hub for international football. And to celebrate the opening of a new stadium he had built in Grozny, Kadyrov hosted a friendly match between his team, made up of various criminals and murderers businessmen, and a team of retired international stars that included Argentinian great Diego "Hand of God" Maradona.

And wouldn't you know it, Kadyrov himself scored a hat trick on Wednesday night, punishing his opponents with his skills on the field. So not only can Kadyrov make political adversaries disappear and order hits on journalists, but the man can play! That, or he threatened to dismember the players of Team Maradona if they dared beat him. Either way, he won!

[Global Post, Reuters; Kadyrov and Maradona via Getty]