There's Still Time to Sell All Your Gold
Perhaps you think of yourself as a "rational investor," and you're not normally "the type" to make major investment decisions based on the shrill urgings of a pop culture internet blog. Until now. Sell your gold! It's not too late!
The "smart" Gawker readers out there should have already massively shorted gold, because we told you to do so three months ago. (The price has risen by about $100/ ounce since then.) But hey, now you don't have to take it from us. Why don't you take it from billionaire investor George Soros, eh? Marketwatch says that Soros has sold off more than $800 million in gold in the first quarter of this year. (Marketwatch also says that he sold too soon, but who are you going to listen to, them or us George fucking Soros?)
So now you don't have to feel embarrassed about going to your broker and saying, "I want to dump all my gold, because I read it on an internet blog that primarily covers penis photography." Now you can go to your broker and say "I want to dump all my gold, because I am following the investing strategy of billionaire investor George Soros."
Look, you're either with Soros on this, or you're with Glenn Beck. Your gold holding say a lot about you. Mmm hmm. We'll just leave it at that. BUBBLE.