Ronson fails a breathalyzer before breakfast. Lindsay parties all night with Paris. Vanessa Minnillo calls Jessica Simpson an "elephant." J.Lo's gives her first post-divorce interview, then gets naked. Tuesday gossip starts early or ends late, depending.

  • LiLo ex-girlfriend and gateway lesbian Samantha Ronson was arrested for a DUI at 9:48 in the morning. Damn. Apparently Sam was driving back to L.A. after deejaying in Vegas the night before, and a cop pulled over for speeding outside Baker, California, "home of the world's biggest thermometer." After flunking a field sobriety test she refused a "roadside blow" (this story is one long veiled euphemism) only to blow a 0.08 (on-the-dot illegal) at the police station. [E!, TMZ, image via Splash]
  • In other news that just as easily could have occurred seven or eight years ago, Lindsay Lohan partied until 4AM at Paris Hilton's Malibu beach house, then tried to avoid the paparazzi by hiding her face in the hood of a sweatshirt. [Radar]

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge still does her own grocery shopping, and looks pretty damn regal while she does it .[Image via Bauer-Griffin]

  • Vanessa Minnillo called Jessica Simpson an "elephant." OK, fine, "elephant in the room." But still. [Perez Hilton]
  • Here's a picture of Melanie Griffith smoking while working out. [Radar]
  • True Blood actor Ryan Kwanten says that full-frontal pic of him that's going around (there's a full-frontal pic of him going around?!) is fake. [Us]
  • Ryan Phillippe never confirmed that his 21-year-old model ex-girlfriend's newborn baby was his, but the kid has his last name and he was at the birth. [People]
  • For one of those "let's give random shit to a celebrity" publicity stunts, NuVo Condoms sent 365 condoms to Justin Bieber, "a year supply." What, they think he only has sex once a day? He's a teenage boy with a girlfriend of internationally renown hotness. Don't insult the libido of Biebs (libiebsdo?). [PressRelease]

Jennifer Lopez gave her first post-divorce interview to Vanity Fair, but given the frequency of planted gossip items about how fabulous and single she is, I almost forgot we hadn't heard her say anything yet. "Sometimes we don't realize that we are compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself—if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now." So, those rumors about Marc Anthony shtupping a flight attendant are totally true, right? This somber article will be presented alongside images of sexed-up J.Lo wearing nothing but a fur coat and stiletto heels. [Vanity Fair]

  • Kim Kardashian confirmed that Vera Wang is designing her wedding gown. Must be sad, always getting scooped on news about her own life. [Kim Kardashian]
  • Kristin Cavallari's altar-dump rebound: Ben Savage? Hard to resist the teen idols of your youth, I guess. [Superficial]
  • Jordin Sparks copied one of Miley Cyrus's tattoos, which was itself a copy of a Lindsay Lohan tattoo. It's the word "respira" (Spanish for "breathe") in cursive on her ribcage. [X17, @JordinSparks]
  • Fantasia Barrino's baby daddy—whose name she got tattooed on her shoulder and whose adulterous love drove her to a suicide attempt last year—is still married to his wife. [Radar]
  • Speaking of overlapping loves, Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston are vacationing in Hawaii. When Justin planned the romantic vacation for two, it was for ex-girlfriend Heidi Bivens. [Us]