Restaurant Tries to Ban Men from Peeing Standing Up
Of all the stupid things in all the world, a restaurant in Canada is trying to ban men from their God-given right to pee standing up. That's right, the last acceptable (semi-)public display of masculinity is now being brought to its knees—or rather to its ass on a slimy, germ-filled toilet seat. Sad.
And of course this is happening in Canada, America's gun-hating, granola-crunching, figure-skating, annoying younger brother to the north. Daddy blogger (was there ever a more sissified profession?) Chad Skelton went with his family to Edible Canada and when he went the unisex toilet he discovered that there was a sign placed over the commode instructing men to not pee standing up. It might as well have asked him to cut off his balls, flush them down the toilet, put on a skirt, and run to the multiplex to watch Twilight while applying lip gloss and worrying about who was going to be eliminated next on the Bachelor.
What did you do, Chad? Huh? I bet you sat down, didn't you? Wimp. As Chad points out, the men's bathroom is universally a filthy place and the establishment is just probably trying to keep their lavatory cleanly. If it means that much to them, why not build a separate room for the men? This is the problem with equality. As the roles (and restrooms) for men and women continue to combine women are asked to behave more like men and men more like women. That's fine. I think it's great that guys can show off their sensitive sides and stay at home with the children (and become daddy bloggers!) and women can be more brash and sexual and be the breadwinner. That's advancement! That feminism come alive.
But that doesn't mean that the playing field will ever be entirely level (and it certainly isn't now). Men are still going to behave like men and some of that has to do with our biology. We get to pee standing up. It is an evolutionary imperative and we are going to exercise it. Forever! You can't stop this, and no matter how much you beg and plead, how many signs you put up in all the restrooms in the world, men are going to continue peeing standing up. It's the way we're wired and, we might not have known it until it was taken away, but it's something we're proud of. So, ladies, we promise to do our best to make the world a fairer places for both sexes if you promise to not mess with this one messy behavior. That's fair, right?
