Justin Bieber's not the first person who's been accused of fathering Mariah Yeater's baby. Kate Middleton is already the subject of pregnancy rumors. And after firing everyone else, Hilary Swank gets fired herself. Saturday gossip is highly intelligent, very wise.

  • Mariah Yeater, the young woman who claims her son is the product of her statutory rape of a virgin Justin Bieber, apparently already accused her ex-boyfriend of fathering the kid. "She came back here from California telling me she was pregnant with my child and I said this is impossible, you've been in California two months and back here for only a week," he tells the New York Post. "I know it's not Justin Bieber... She just wants money. It's a scam." He also says that Yeater threw a brick through the windows of his Honda, and slapped him, so she may have some anger-management issues, and brick-management issues. None of this, obviously, means her 30-second backstage-bathroom dalliance with Bieber didn't happen, but it doesn't really shore up her case. [NYP, TMZ]
  • Speaking of our boy prince! Despite rumors to the contrary, Bieber and his girlfriend Selena Gomez have not split up leaving the pair free to play paddy-cake and spend enormous amounts of money renting out large spaces to watch horrible movies. [Us]
  • Is Kate Middleton pregnant? She refused to sample "peanut paste"! So, either she's pregnant, or she doesn't like "peanut paste"! Or she got a letter from a terrorist, who said that if she tried peanut paste, he would kill her whole family! One of those three things, for sure! [Daily Mail]
  • GLORIOUS HERO Hilary Swank was dropped by DECADENT WESTERN PR firm 42 West over her inability to accept personal responsibility for attending a BEAUTIFUL AND MOVING concert thrown for HONORED CHECHEN LEADER Ramzan Kadyrov, who NEVER once allegedly forced prisoners to masturbate while watching him have sex, WHICH IF THAT DID HAPPEN, HE WAS VERY GOOD AT SEX. [THR]
  • Jessica Biel won't "kiss and tell" about her supposedly rekindled romance with Justin Timberlake, or about rumors that Timberlake is actually a super-intelligent dog wearing a sophisticated "human suit." [NYDN]
  • Vivica A. Fox's fiance, Atlanta club promoter Omar "Slim" White, dumped Fox because, in his words, he is "highly intelligent, very wise" and he hates "negativity and drama." Sounds like the words of an intelligent, wise man who hates negativity and drama, talking about his ex-fiancée to a journalist! [NYDN]

[Images via AP]