4 Year Old Criminal Mastermind Smuggles a Gun in His Carry-On, Gets Off Scot-Free
A TSA officer examining a child's carry-on bag via X-ray discovered pieces of a handgun hidden inside three of his toys at a Rhode Island airport on Monday.
The child, a natural-born criminal who will one day grow up to be Sid, the bad neighbor from the Toy Story films, was allowed to board his flight regardless.
If he'd been using crutches or in a hugging mood, the little scumbag would have been maced on sight.
He's playing us all for suckers.
The pieces, which, according to CNN, included the frame of a .40-caliber firearm, a magazine with two .40-caliber rounds, a firing pin and a slide, would form a complete gun when re-assembled.
They were contained within a stuffed teddy bear, a stuffed rabbit, and a stuffed Mickey Mouse toy.
The toys and, by the "possession is 9/10ths of the law" rule, the gun belonged to a 4-year-old mafia Don en route with his father to Detroit.
The father told the Transportation Security Administration official he was "unaware" that the pieces of a deadly weapon were nestled snugly within the plush bodies of his child's toys.
So the TSA officials were like "Cool, bro, we believe you," and just let him continue on his way (sans gun).
Seriously.
According to a lieutenant with the T.F. Green International Airport police, the not-at-all suspicious gentleman was allowed to continue his trip because police believed the incident "was related to an ongoing domestic dispute."
In a press release, TSA officials praised themselves for noticing the gun and rubbed it in everyone's faces that they did so by scanning a child's ridiculous kid-type luggage.
"This is just another example that threats can appear anywhere, and this is why TSA officers take a closer look at everything. It's also an example that shows that even though TSA has modified the screening process for children 12 and under, the security process is still just as effective."
A more impressive press release might have read "We caught a man trying to smuggle a gun onto a plane by hiding it inside his child's toys, and then we detained that man," but I guess the guy's domestic dispute story must have been pretty good.
