'Plain Jane Bandit' Has World's Worst Criminal Nickname
Used to be folks wouldn't dream of going to the theater without long white gloves, traveling on an aeroplane in short pants, or robbing a bank in anything but their finest haute couture ball gown.
Times have changed.
The FBI is currently offering a reward of up to $10,000 in exchange for information leading to the arrest of a thief they have dubbed "The Plain Jane Bandit."
The Plain Jane Bandit, who could be so pretty if she'd just put on a little lipstick, has been linked to six California bank robberies since mid-July. Four of those took place within the same twenty-four hour window, when other, more beautiful robbers were out on dates.
The FBI reports that the Bandit with a Really Awesome Personality robs banks by simply walking up to a teller and demanding, either verbally or with a written note, that they hand over some cash. She also indicates that an accomplice is waiting for her outside the bank. Probably just because she wants the teller to think she has a boyfriend; no such person has been picked up by surveillance footage at any of the robberies.
Even if the accomplice did exist, he would probably just like her "as a friend."
The Bandit Whose Face Doesn't Have, Like, Anything Wrong with It, has been described as a Hispanic female with a height of 5'3" - 5'5" (the average for an American woman) and a weight of 150-170 pounds (the average for an American woman). She's estimated to be between 35-40 years old—not old old, but not young either, you know what I mean? No offense.
Her getaway car is a perfectly nice silver four-door.
Witnesses have reported that the suspect may have a scar below or next to her right eye, but you barely even notice it and if she feels self conscious she should just wear a barrette or something to distract people. She also has a "possible tattoo" on her right shoulder.
One thing she probably doesn't have now that the Mean Girl FBI has gotten involved: a lot of self-confidence.
