Prose Poem The News: McDonald's Considers Expanding Breakfast Hours
Midnight. Noontime moontime. 00:00 o'clock.
Beneath Artemis' silver face: a glowing gold arch.
Empty tables. Piled Big Macs. A coffer run dry.
Less than 1% of sales occur between 2 and 5 a.m. – why?
Because the devoted still slumber, because they think they need rest.
Because they do not know it's already breakfast.
In the Buckeye state, a plan from a marketing crew:
Cast off the old clocks, then make them anew
Re-jig their insides; bargain with the sun
12 a.m.: Not midnight, but "midday: Part I"
Breakfast's first hour: time for hash browns and juice
Time for sausage, for McMuffins, for burritos and fruit
The humans are dead; the "Nocturnivores" reign
So says Fahlgren Mortine's advertising campaign
If Ohioans accept the New Order of things,
The plan could expand; grow national wings
From Appalachia to Reno, a breakfast hour: doubled
From five hours to ten; but, still, there is trouble
For woe unto ye who arrive just one minute late.
It's bagels, you seek? #smh Breakfast stops at eight.
[Columbus Business First reports that most McDonald's franchises across Ohio are currently being used to test "Breakfast After Midnight" — a proposed limited menu expansion that will push McDonald's breakfast starttime from 5 a.m. to 12:00a.m. // Image via AP]