mcdonalds
Chicken McNuggets to Become Less Artificial But Still Exist Somehow
Hamilton Nolan · 04/28/16 11:48AMMcRefugees Are McSleeping and McDying in Hong Kong's Many 24-Hour McDonald's
Chris Thompson · 11/13/15 12:04AMRob Lowe Has a McDonald's Gold Card, Entitling Him to Free Food and Illuminati Membership
Jay Hathaway · 11/12/15 10:30AMAnimal Rights Group Protests Outside McDon—Dear God What Is That Horrible Thing
Chris Thompson · 11/12/15 12:18AMDesperate, Flailing McDonald's Fancying Up Their Burgers Across the Pond
Chris Thompson · 11/03/15 11:35PMFaced with a shifting marketplace, McDonald’s has ventured into the burgeoning Siberian restaurant scene and attempted to rebrand itself as a “modern progressive burger company.” Shockingly, neither of these totally credible business strategies have managed to offset the existential threat posed by rival burger companies, like Five Guys and Shake Shack, who distinguish themselves by selling actual organic food in their restaurants.
McDonald's: Still the Absolute Worst, Now Brainwashing Children
Chris Thompson · 10/13/15 07:08PMMcDonald’s, a protracted practical joke whose punchline is cardiovascular disease, is apparently still sore enough over Super Size Me that they’ve produced a documentary of their own to refute its depiction of their so-called “food.” Only this one—entitled 540 Meals—is being shown as educational material to school children around America. Dammit.
Four Charged With Pulling McDonald's Worker out of Drive-Thru Window and Beating Her
Jay Hathaway · 09/04/15 09:05AMA video that spread online earlier this week, showing a teenage McDonald’s employee being pulled through a drive-thru window and into a car, seemed too crazy to be real. But the attack wasn’t staged, and charges have been filed against the woman who allegedly grabbed the worker, plus three others in the car with her.
McDonald's Wants a God Damn Medal for Serving Slightly Less Poison
Hamilton Nolan · 06/25/15 11:51AMThe Hamburglar Grew Up to Be an EDM-Loving Asshole Dad
Dayna Evans · 05/06/15 03:07PMHamilton Nolan · 04/01/15 03:02PM
McDonald's Is Shilling Big Mac Clothing For Fit "Trendy" People
Dayna Evans · 03/25/15 04:50PMTeen Arrested For Brutal Brooklyn McDonald's Beating
Aleksander Chan · 03/13/15 07:55AMPolice have arrested 16-year-old Aniah Ferguson in connection with a gruesome fight that broke out in a Brooklyn McDonald's Wednesday. In cell phone video that quickly made its way around Facebook, one teen can be seen being battered by a group as a crowd of bystanders scream.
Kelly Conaboy · 03/11/15 07:31AM
McDonald's Has "No Budget" to Pay Artists at SXSW Showcase
Kelly Conaboy · 03/05/15 11:10AMSXSW, Austin's annual sticky-floored music industry sport coat and jeans cocaine marathon, wherein bands willingly exhaust themselves playing garbage sets for little or no money, deriving sustenance from tacos and the hope of "exposure," features a McDonald's showcase this year. And, no doy, they aren't paying.
Customer Kicked Out of McDonald's for Crime of Being a Baby Kangaroo
Hudson Hongo · 02/05/15 01:15AMMcDonald's Is America's Most Cynical Corporation
Hamilton Nolan · 02/02/15 11:46AMMcDonald's, the molded plastic king of America's molded plastic cuisine, has decided that money will no longer suffice to purchase its meager offerings; the company now demands that you degrade yourself in order to be fed.