Kennedy Family Still All Up On Taylor Swift's Dick, I See (They Gave Her a Special Award Last Night)
Everyone's girlfriend Taylor Swift was honored last night with the Best Ex-Girlfriend Award by the family whose bones will one day adorn her powder room walls.
Swift was honored with the Ripple of Hope Award by the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice & Human Rights. Past honorees include President Bill Clinton, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Bono. Swift was chosen because she donates a lot of money to charity ($100,000 to flood victims in Iowa and $500,000 to flood victims in Tennessee—a better state), which is great. Good job, Taylor.
Everything else was weird.
Like, at the gala, Swift performed the song "Starlight" off her latest record.
"Starlight" is a song she wrote about a picture of Robert and Ethel Kennedy, just before she started dating their grandson, Connor. Here is an explanation of this what the what, from an interview Swift gave to the Wall Street Journal:
…I came across this picture of these two kids dancing at a dance. It immediately made me think of like how much fun they must have had that night. It was back in the late '40s. I ended up reading underneath that it was Ethel Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy. And they were like 17 [Robert was born Nov. 20, 1925, Ethel on April 11, 1928]. So I just kind of wrote that song from that place, not really knowing how they met or anything like that. And then her daughter Rory ended up coming to a show a couple weeks later and I told her about the song and she was like, you have to meet my mom. She would love to meet you.
Just to recap, here is what happened:
1. Taylor Swift sees a picture of Ethel and Robert F. Kennedy.
2. Taylor Swift writes a song about BEING Ethel Kennedy. (Sample lyrics:
"I met Bobby on the boardwalk, summer of '45
Picks me up, play one night at the window
He was 17 and crazy, running wild, wild"
3. Ethel Kennedy's 43-year-old daughter attends a Taylor Swift Concert.
4. Taylor says "I wrote a song about being your mom."
5. Ethel Kennedy's daughter says "You have to meet my mom."
6. Taylor Swift meets the mom of her fantasies.
Notably absent from the gala was the Robert to Taylor's Ethel, RFK's grandson, Conor.
While it was anticipated that the couple, recently divorced ("Taylor, we were never married." "IT FEELS LIKE A DIVORCE"), would reunite at the event, when the big moment arrived, Conor was nowhere to be found. But don't worry — nothing fishy here. His dad wrote a note excusing him.
Dear Taylor and everyone,
Conor can't come tonight because he has lacrosse and also he's so sick.
Talk to you soon.
Singed,
Conor's Dad
Conor — you misspelled "signed."
After the Gala, Taylor left to hang out with her new new boyfriend, Harry from One Direction.