It’s the biggest day of your life... You’re on stage with the president... She gives you an award... Where did your pants go?

Just days after extolling the steamy pleasures of traditional gender-role relationships, actress Kaley Cuoco forgot to mention her husband while accepting an acting award for her popular science television program.

Snickering car collector Jay Leno, America's foremost mediocrity merchant, was today named the recipient of the 17th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Perhaps there has been a mistake?

The Nobel Foundation, which has been handing out the world's most prestigious prizes for more than a century, knows a lot of good economists. Maybe they should ask them how to make some money?

Chris Heath's definitive story of the Zanesville wild-animal slaughter is a National Magazine Award finalist. Congrats!

Last night, Hollywood had its first dress rehearsal of the awards season: the Golden Globes. As with most rehearsals, a lot of shit went wrong: audio cut out, teleprompters malfunctioned, and several women grabbed the microphone to scream crazy things into it; in another era they might have been burned as witches.

The best thing about Golden Globes night is that it provides dinner to a roomful of stars who otherwise could not afford to feed themselves. The celebs sit smushed elbow-to-elbow at round dinner tables and the International Ballroom of the Beverly Hilton looks like an Olive Garden the ad sales department has rented out for its 2003 F-ad-bulous Employee Recognition Dinner. Also everyone gets wasted, which is great for .gifs.

Everyone's girlfriend Taylor Swift was honored last night with the Best Ex-Girlfriend Award by the family whose bones will one day adorn her powder room walls.

Few would disagree that the most interesting thing about visioneer, blogger, and actor James Franco is that he hates Gawker.

It's a very darling sort of year for the Emmys with critical/Internet/real people favs like Girls, Breaking Bad, Homeland, Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock popping up in multiple categories. Mad Men and American Horror Story lead with 17 nominations. Somewhat weirdly, American Horror Story qualifies for the miniseries categories because, as Vulture explained earlier this year, "the miniseries distinction is reserved for programming that has a story line that gets resolved in a single season." This logic led the first season of Downton Abbey to be considered by the Emmys as a miniseries last year, although that was bullshit then (clearly Mary and Matthew had more heart-dragging to do — no one could have possibly thought that the first season finale constituted resolution). It's a bit more understandable in the case of American Horror Story, which will focus on an entirely different story every season, but it's still a little weird since we know several characters from last time around will return. (Actually, word is that returning actors will not be reprising their Season 1 roles but take up all new ones. Jessica Lange, for example, is supposed to play a nun.) No matter - whatever it takes for a show so batshit crazy to be regarded as distinguished is fine with me.

Thirteen people, living and dead, were awarded the nation's highest civilian honor (after Universal Royalty Ultimate Grand Supreme, 4-8-Year-Old Division) on Tuesday. One of those people was Bob Dylan and the other twelve weren't Bob Dylan.

Last night, Cher presented her son Chaz Bono with GLAAD's Stephen F. Kolzak Award, and it was kind of amazing. Bono was also honored for the documentary Becoming Chaz, which chronicled his transition from female to male. In the film, Cher admitted some difficulty thinking of Chaz as a man after watching him grow up as a woman. This delightful picture of Cher (and her hair) embracing Bono is a nice reflection of how far they've come.

Sure, last night's Academy Awards were the worst Oscars ever. But that doesn't mean we were deprived the always-glamorous faces of the silver screen. Happy faces, sad faces, faces incapable of emotion due to injections—they're all here for your perusal.

As someone who loves the Oscars, movies, and awards shows in general, I have to say that this year's ceremony was the most boring in modern memory. It seemed like the whole night was mired in Billy Crystal's mediocre nostalgia and nothing got to shine, except Meryl Streep, which shouldn't be a surprise at all.

Move over, Norbit — on Saturday, Adam Sandler beat the previous record of five Razzie nominations with a staggering 11. The Razzies, which are basically the Oscars for terrible movies, has singled Sandler out for his writing, producing, and acting work in the films Jack and Jill, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, and Just Go With It.

Sunday night the television audience for the Oscars telecast will be as large and as social as for any other event except the Super Bowl. Many will have the bright idea to invite all your friends over for an Oscar Party. For those playing host, here are some common party fouls to avoid.

No one really knows who the 5,765 members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences are. Yes, those who decide who gets the fetishized and neutered gold man at the Oscars were a mystery until now. The LA Times did a demographic study of who is casting the votes. Shocker: it's old white guys.

Today we found out that Cirque Du Soleil is now set to perform at the Oscars on Feb. 26th. Thanks to an online petition, the Muppets will present an award. This thing is going to be a real stinker.

Novelty ukulele tune Zooey Deschanel is "excited to host the WGA awards. It should be a lot of fun!"

Possessed Anthropologie mannequin Zooey Deschanel was not nominated for any Oscars on Tuesday.