Americans Are Drinking Beer From Cans Now
Beer-swilling Americans, globally regarded as the very Platonic ideal of refinement and taste, are renowned for their refined palates. They certainly are not the type of people to sit around on the back bumper of a pickup truck and drink themselves senseless on literally any form of alcoholic liquid no matter how disgusting while ranting about unfavored sports teams. So it is newsworthy to report that this group of gourmets is now being enticed to drink their beer out of a humble can.
Shocking? Perhaps. Yet it appears that American booze epicureans are now—thanks to futuristic advancements—becoming more willing to guzzle their Miller Lite not from champagne flutes, but from metal cans. Ad Age reports that our nation's greatest drunk scientists are pioneering revolutionary can technologies, such as Sam Adams' can "with an extended lip and hourglass ridge at the top to enhance aromatics and expel carbonation."
And some people believed we'd never go to the moon.
The pioneering beer delivery refinements don't stop there:
Bud Light will pilot test one this summer with a vent under the tab to reduce "glug." Likewise, Coors Light recently announced a can with a double-vented wide mouth. This follows Miller Lite's "punch top" cans, introduced last year with a second hole to be opened with objects such as a house key or golf tee.
If party scientists are able to reduce glug, who's to say that any barriers are impossible to overcome? One day, perhaps, Americans may even be enticed to consume thinly fried potatoes from a plastic bag. One can dream.
