Forty Percent of Your Kids Will Get Diabetes
If you have a "young one" waddling around your home at the moment (because it is your child), I suggest you lift them off the ground with a mighty effort, shake them (as much as you're able), and scream, "There's a 40% chance you will have diabetes one day!" (until your muscles give out).
Forty percent???? Forty percent!!! Bloomberg reports on The Lancet's latest estimates of how fucked our children are:
Forty percent of Americans born from 2000 to 2011 will develop diabetes, double the risk of those born a decade earlier, signaling a sharp increase in the disease's prevalence, researchers found...
The risk is even higher for minorities. More than half of all Hispanics and non-Hispanic black women born from 2000 to 2011 will develop diabetes in their lifetime, the study found. For black men, the lifetime risk is 45 percent.
Damn. Hell. Good god. Jesus lord. Where did we go wrong? What have we done? What will become of us? How will we make it? What kind of life is this? Why? Why? Why?
Let's just agree to blame Paula Deen, and carry on as usual.