LIRR Service Is All Fucked Up, As Revelation Foretold
For 90 minutes this morning, Long Island Rail Road service was suspended coming into and going out of Penn Station due to “signal trouble.” For 90 minutes this morning, LIRR riders inundated the E, 7, and 2/3 subway lines, as the MTA cross-honored their LIRR fares. For 90 minutes this morning, Satan was released from his prison, deceiving the nations in the four corners of the earth—LIRR and MTA—to gather them for battle.
What happens when you cancel all the LIRR trains headed to Penn Station & put everyone into the subway at once? pic.twitter.com/cQ5tScW95o
— Sean Ryan (@sjr765) September 2, 2015
In number they are like the sand of the sea.
Fun times at Jamaica with the #lirr. Nothing like tripling the commute time to work. pic.twitter.com/dlRvJmno2d
— Rob Hofmann (@robhofmann) September 2, 2015
They went up on the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city.
Major delays, service suspended on more than 1 branch of #LIRR. Due to signal problems. Here's Great Neck's platform: pic.twitter.com/p1hOzd8PPE
— Tara McDonald (@TaraJMac) September 2, 2015
And fire came down from God out of heaven and devoured them.
Jamaica...what a lovely place to be stranded. #LIRR pic.twitter.com/lJlNWL8hsw
— Abbey Hunt (@ItsJustAbbey) September 2, 2015
And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown.
They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.
As of 10AM, LIRR trains are operating with 80 minute delays. Shuttle trains are operating in 15 minute intervals between Jamaica and Penn Station. The MTA continues to cross-honor fares via the E, 7, and 2/3 subway lines.
Art by Jim Cooke. Contact the author at kelly.conaboy@gawker.com.